I want my kids to make good choices. For example, when I put them to bed at night, I want them to go to sleep. Every night I give them a pep talk about how important it is that they obey and go to bed and not play or jump or turn on the light. And every night I walk out thinking they are going to follow my directions. Then two point one minutes go by and the light is on and someone is swan diving from the railings on their beds. I have tried EVERYTHING. If I were to increase the Alpha dog routine, I would have to cross some serious parenting no-nos. And not to say I'll never go there but I just am not there yet. Why don't they make good choices? Why do they climb on each other in the tub even though I have pointed out, very dramatically, that they could KILL their sissie? Why do they choose to spread crap all over their play room when they are supposed to be picking it up? Why do they refuse to go to bed these days? I have been like Simon Legree over the past few days. I realized that when their Dad left I really eased up around here. I let them sleep with me and get away with crap they'd never get away with before. I felt bad for them and I felt bad for me and I just wanted all of us to get in my bed, eat cookies and have a big ol pile of girl time. But you know what? They AREN'T my girlfriends. They are my daughters and they don't need a girlfriend, they have each other. They need a mother who is constant and has expectations of behavior that is respectful and obedient. I realized what a huge dis-service I have done to them by allowing them to not obey and follow directions. So now, I had to reign them in over the past few days and it seems like it's been a never ending parade of "i said do it" "because I said so and you need to mind mama" "time out! now" "go to your room and spend some time there please" "you have no chances, you need to mind because mama told you to" and singing the "when my mother calls me quickly I'll obey song until I am so sick of it I was to disobey myself" They went to bed last night with only me having to go into their room one time. Tonight I didn't have to go in once. They went straight to bed. I did put them down close to 10 o'clock though. So in all fairness they were really tired. I'm still putting the win in my column though.
So gentle reader...do you have any ideas for me? What do you do or did you do to help three year olds make good choices?
p.s. - Yes I know some kids set the living room on fire on purpose and yes I know I should count my lucky stars that my kids are even willing to listen and I know my expectations seem high of them and I know I need to be realistic. But you guys haven't seen these kids over the past week. It's been more than I can handle. So I needed to make some changes. Don't judge me. Well go ahead and judge me just realize your judgements will make me cry and that I have two, count them, two three year olds that are ganging up on me and trying to overtake the ol'homestead. So give me ideas - please.
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4 comments:
Well, I have an almost 3 year old who tries to rule the roost. Her poor 4 1/2 year old brother covers for her A LOT. See, I am a huge fan of rewarding kids when they are being obedient. Like right now. Eliza was not choosing to clean up all of the toys, so I told her "I would happily give Logan fruit snacks and not you. He is cleaning up the toys and you aren't. Why should I give you fruit snacks too?" Well, that seemed to have worked because now she is cleaning up.
I know that your girls are double the trouble sometimes, but you could try pointing out when one girl is making a good choice and praiser her for it, and see what the other one does. But fear not. I too tend to put my kids away later when Tom is gone. I also stopped giving Eliza naps (I go back and forth with how I feel about this one...) and she is the first one to go to sleep at night. I don't know how you feel about that one........ But on Sundays she has no choice. She takes a nap. After 2 hours of nursery, I can't function without one.
you already said it, you are not their girlfriend. i hate being bad cop, but you know what, i am mommy. what i say goes period. as long as you stick to your guns and don't waver you'll be good. also, don't give empty threats. if you say "no tv if you don't clean up", then no tv. you are doing great. i cannot imagine doing it by myself. you are a hero!
Have you tried a sticker chart??? That would be easy to make on the computer. Even something with beads like a necklace. When they listen and do what they are told, they can earn a jewel/bead for their necklace. You could even take one away if they are not doing what you asked them too.
Really you have it pretty good, considering there are two of them. They are such good little girls. I love love love them and I kinda love that they are spunky and will give you a run for your money someday. So my advice is this. Pull up a chair, make sure your wearing comfy slippers and have a nice long book, cause you are in for a long winter!!! It will only get worse before it gets better. Oh my gosh can you picture them as 6 year olds who can actually make schemes and intelligent plans, you will really be in for it. J/K I think they are great and I love them so much. Remember, Patience is a virtue, Now we just have to figure out how to get it.
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