Croc Hunter

Laugh if you will. Think what you may of me, I loved Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. I didn't care for his show in particularly, but his passion for life and preserving wildlife to me was so obviously sincere. The only thing that he seemed to be more passionate about than that was his wife and daughter. I watched the Croc Hunter episode where they took their honeymoon and when she gave birth to Bindy. I know he is controversial and some people hate him but the love he had for his wife and daughter was very moving to me.

Today for the first time since Mike left - Teri and Bindi Irwin, his family came on a show I was watching. I just started bawling when they walked out. I saw the look his wife had as she put her arm around their daughter and it was like I could read her mind. The look in her eyes was focused on her daughter and happy to be doing this interview but was also just so tired and weary. I think when you have a Dad for your kids that is so crazy about them and such a tremendous influence on them, the void their absence leaves writes itself on your face. It's exactly how I feel right now. And when I think that her Mike Meeker isn't coming back and that she'll never have that feeling of being left out again my heart just breaks a little. What I mean by that is that there's sometimes when Mike is with the girls and they are doing their college football thing or their wonderpets playing, I feel totally like the 4th wheel... left out and so boring and small. And I LOVE it. I love watching them...I love being left out and so totally ignored. I'm sure boring Teri Irwin felt that way a lot with her wild husband and daughter who were so two peas in a pod. And I look at her face and I know she is an actual person walking this earth living my worst nightmare. I know she felt about her husband the way I feel about Mike and that she was loved the way I am. It just hurts to see her even though I admire her work and the carrying on of her husband's crusade to help animals.

But today, as she seemed to sag a bit at the commercial break, I just wished she could have her husband back. And I feel such gratitude that mine will take off his boots tonight after his long work day, log on to our family blog and read this. Come home soon Mike. I'm fine and happy and so are the girls but we just aren't the same without you.