And he's gone...

We got up at 3:30 to take Mike to the airport. My parents had the kids overnight which was a blessing because all of this would have scared them I think. We joined the sea of other military members and their family members and went from station to station getting the things they needed. Then it was just time to wait. Sit there, next to Mike and wait. I tried to memorize what it felt like to touch his arm and to hold his had but I realized I had memorized that feeling years ago. So we talked about the kids, what stuff didn't get done, how he was happy and excited to go and do some good over there. Finally it was time for him to go. He asked if I needed to say anything else and I said that I didn't except that I loved him and that no matter what we've gone through I would never have chosen to spend my life with anyone else and that he was the love of my life. He told me the same and how much he would miss me and how proud he was of me for the kind of mother I am and how he knows everything will be okay. I told him I knew this too and that we would be fine. I told him I didn't expect to hear from him until sometime this weekend. We kissed quickly and hugged fiercely and I walked out of the ready room. I was leaving out of this big huge hallway and I just had a feeling to look back and there he was standing at the door of the ready room to blow me another kiss and give me a thumbs up. And then I drove home. My feelings are mixed because I am exhausted and I have a bad sinus infection with a huge horrible headache so I can't be sure exactly how I am feeling. Mostly I am sad but peaceful. That's the best I can describe it. I feel really sad because I will miss my friend but I feel very at peace because I know we are all where we are supposed to be. I don't feel scared, just tired. I slept for a few hours when I got home this morning and now I'm just making myself a huge list of stuff I need to get done.

So in the words of some little Airman guy to Mike this morning..."well sir...are you ready to do this thing?" My answer is most definitely ...yes.