Transition

Just when I think my life is perfect, my kids are well, the weight in my chest has gone away because half of me has returned and I feel whole again...my flawed character begins to come in and mess stuff up. The unpacked boxes from Afghanistan start to get on my nerves. I have less closet space and why should I have to give up my jeans drawer? He deleted photoshop on accident but none the less deleted. He wants me to cook dinner. Like more than once per week. And the little thoughts come creeping into my brain that the girls and I had a routine and a system and I never had to wait around for someone to get home (late) for work with expectations. Then, something happens to stop me in my tracks, crush the air out of my lungs and causes me to feel so so very thankful.

Mike's brother is deploying to the desert for way longer than Mike was gone. More than double the time Mike was away in fact. And his wife and two children are stationed in an area with no family nearby. And they just moved there. So they haven't had time to make friends. And my heart breaks for my sister in law who isn't a sister in law at all but a sister. And for my niece and nephew who were just my niece and nephew yesterday but who are extensions of my girls and who I feel are in part mine today. Because I've been there. And, well, I just feel sad. And guilty. Because I feel so grateful. And suddenly, unpacked boxes and resistance to iPhones and hogging Guitar Hero seem like such petty issues because they are.

In honor of our brother and sister, let's all be nicer to our spouses. Let's cut them some slack. Let's not sweat the small stuff. I hereby dedicate every kiss goodnight to them. I will shut my mouth and not pick or nag. I will be happy that I am whole. And I will be there for my sister. Like she was there for me. I can't tell you how many times she told me I wasn't a loser and how many times she told me it was understandable how I was feeling and she mostly listened. She was great. And I wish I wasn't going to return the favor but I will. I love her and she is strong and independent. And she will be great. But in case she has moments when she doesn't feel great I will be there to talk to. And for once in my life I will not talk. I will listen.

We have five GOOD friends and family who are either deployed or getting ready to go. That's 14 kids going to bed without a parent. . Five wives who are holding it all together all alone. It's just too much. It has to stop.