BUMMED OUT

Spoiler Alert! I just read Dear John by Nicholas Sparks and if you have it in your unread stack on the bottom shelf of your nightstand like I did, don't read on. However, if you have either read it or have not tagged it yet to read, please feel free to continue. Because I have a lot to say about this book. And it's not all great. In fact, some of it is very very bad.

Here is the Reader's Digest of the plot. Enter John. He is a rebel raised by a single Dad who is into coin collecting and is socially awkward thus unable to connect with his growing teenage son. John becomes a rebel...drinking, surfing, boozing and living the life of a bum. John realizes he needs direction and enlists in the army circa 1999. He is in the infantry and quickly promotes to the rank of sergeant. While home on leave, he goes surfing in his local town of Wilmington, NC. He meets a young, fresh faced innocent girl named Savannah who is in town with other students from UNC to build houses for Habitat for Humanity. John is impressed by the group, especially their leader and organizer Tim. He goes to church with them and is impressed with their commitment to hard work and service. Especially Savannah. They spend a magical week under the stars, taking long walks on the beach, holding hands, sharing their innermost secrets, surfing, watching the stars and falling in love. Totally G rated. He leaves to go back to Germany where he is stationed. On his next leave he comes home and they still totally love each other. Savannah asks to meet John's Dad who he has this non existent relationship with. She is a student majoring special education and wants to someday have a horse ranch where Autistic kids can come and get therapy by caring and riding horses. She shares that Tim's brother is Autistic and that she and Tim worked with him and the joy he found in riding horses was amazing. She gives John a book on Asbergers syndrome because she is pretty sure John's Dad has it. It helps John over the years understand and grow closer to his Dad. John goes back to Germany and there is only 100 days until his enlistment in the army is over and they can be free to marry and have the life they are dreaming of. Then 9/11 happens. In the frenzy of patriotism and fear that gripped our country back then, John's whole unit re ups for two years and as their sergeant he does too. This squashes plans with Savannah. They get sent to Iraq and he spends two years seeing the most horrible things you can see. In the middle of it all he gets a letter from Savannah apologizing but explaining that she was proud of him but she fell in love with someone else and she was really sorry. He immediately re ups in the army for another two years. He never calls, never writes, just becomes the perfect soldier, carrying out super dangerous missions like a robot. In 2006 his Dad dies and he goes back to Wilmington. Because of his understanding of Asbergers, he's been really able to connect with his Dad. He feels that he needs to go see Savannah as well to make things right. He misses his best friend and he's feeling so alone in the world. She is happy to see him. She finally breaks it to him that she married Tim and that she loves him and they have a ranch that Autistic kids can use in their development. However...da da da....(cue dramatic music) Tim is in the hospital dying from melanoma. The only hope for Tim is an experimental treatment through Johns Hopkins but their insurance won't pay for it. Tim asks John privately to care and cherish Savannah after he dies. Instead, John gives the entire value of the coin collection his father built over his lifetime (which was a fortune) to save Time's life. The end of the book has John looking down on Tim and Savannah and their happiness. The morale of the story is that true love means you'll do anything to make sure the person is happy. He never contacts her again. They love each other but will never be together because time and circumstances just changed. He zigged and she zagged.

What is the point of this book people? I mean I'm left with the saddest most deflated feeling. It's just so depressing. It took you along on this amazing trip of love and heartache and then leaves you flat. What lies ahead for poor John? More tours in Iraq or Afghanistan and a life spent alone? I am so thankful for those lone soldiers who sacrifice having a family because it's too hard and I agree that divorce is a HUGE problem in the military and you do grow apart and you do change. But I just want to write a book about all of us who ARE making it. Those who still love their husbands even more than they did before they left. For some people, they feel called to serve their country. It's not a backup plan or something they fell into. For Mike at least, he wanted to be in the Air Force since he was a little boy. And I wouldn't love him if he gave that up because he wouldn't be him, not his true and authentic self. What about all those wives who are emailing their husbands every day and doing all they can to stay close and connected and who love their military spouses more than they ever could. Are couples automatically doomed because one partner chooses to serve in the military? This book made me sad. I told Mike about it. here was his HEARTLESS and totally boy/doctor response.

Well...melanoma is a funny kind of cancer. He might still have a chance because it can come back. Leave it to a heartless boy to come up with that. ugh.