Floodgates

My poor sister in law Amber. I called her today sobbing into the phone while she was trying to get Cayden into his carseat. I couldn't get out a single word as my snot dripped into my cell phone and I heard her say "Cayden, Auntie Amy is on the phone and she's very sad so you need to be quiet and let me talk to her." I finally got it all out and got calmed down but every time I think about what happened today, I start bawling all over again.

We went to the military I.D. office this morning so I could get my I.D. card renewed so it would be current while Mike is deployed. All of our benefits are tied to the military and in the event I needed to do anything associated with the military while Mike is away, I need to have a current I.D. card. So we go to the office and I hand the lady my two forms of I.D. which were a current Nebraska drivers license and an old California one. "I can't take these" she said, "because they are the same sources." I say okay and dig in my wallet for another kind of ID. While I'm digging she says "yeah, you're going to have to come back on Tuesday because we are closed Monday." I grab my social security card and ask her if this is okay and she winces and says yes that's fine. So she pulls up our military record. Then, she says to me..."when your daughters were born and you enrolled them in medical insurance, we input a temporary social security number for them. We do this all the time because you probably had to have their first check up before you got their actual social security cards." I nod my head in agreement and she continues..."well, now you have 90 days for your husband to bring their actual social security cards to our office or we will suspend their medical insurance." I stop my nodding and say "hmmmwhat?" And she blabbers it all again and all I hear is "husband has to bring in the form....suspend their medical insurance." I explain, my husband is deploying and will be out of the country and we just moved and their SS cards are in some box in the garage he was supposed to go through but he watched the Olympics instead and they are 3 and need medical insurance and what should I do? She then repeated that their insurance would be suspended. Then Mike came over and started to argue with her about how this wasn't right and he was going to be gone and could not bring in the form and looked to me to do my normal "chime in" and I just started to sob. Now when I say sob I don't mean that cute cry where the one tear escapes your eye and trickles down your cheek. I mean sobbing, hysterically, because my daughters were going to have no health insurance and Mike was going to war and I had held it together very well up until this exact moment when circumstances and stars aligned to reach and out and zap me and I just plain ol' freakin lost it. Right in the middle of the office. With Marines all around. With guns strapped to their thighs. No joke. Guns. Strapped. To their thighs!!! As I am hyperventilating, Mike is not so calmly requesting an exception be made and a supervisor comes over and sees me sobbing. She tells the girl to have Mike sign the form and to allow ME to bring it in within the 90 days and that will be fine. "but what if I can't find their cards?" I wailed. "how will I go to the social security office when mike's gone? who will watch them while I do all this?" I am now reaching that place where my voice is so squeaky and high pitched that words just sound like "eeeek" and "beeeek". And Mike is all "aim, I'll find the cards in the box, I know where they are, it'll be okay." He thanks the supervisor and she goes away. The girl that originally waited on us still needs to print all this stuff out, explain to me what I need to do, take my PICTURE and print out my new ID card. And I can't stop sobbing. I just keep crying and crying and crying and tears are streaming down my face and I can't speak and Mike is looking around like "I have no idea what's wrong with my crazy wife" and I want to reach across the desk and strangle the girl who even hinted at taking away my babies medical benefits all the while tears are flooding my face. So I sit there and try and breathe, she snaps the PICTURE (I look hot), prints out her forms and off we go.

Then Mike is all "what's wrong." And I'm all "baaaaaaa, waaaaaaa, haaaaaaaa" and he's all "dude" and I'm all "baaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaa" and he's like "okay honey, I have more errands to run, I'll see you tonight" and I'm all "you're an ass" as he walks away and he's all "what?" and I'm all "fine, whatever, jerkface, drive away" and he's all "okay psycho, see ya at home" and that's when I called Amber all hysterical.

You guys get why I was hysterical right? Mike doesn't get it. It's all about the breaking point. Girls, you get it right? Do I need to explain this to him? Or am I really losing it? I think up until this point I have done great. Really had a grip on my emotions, reality and what was happening to our family. Then today, I lost my ever lovin' mind. Normal reaction right?