Monday, April 21, 2008

To Self Tan OR Not? Please Weigh In...

Gretchen Brown and I used to float lazily in our metallic silver air mattresses in my parents pool for hours and hours after slathering ourselves with Baby Oil or if we were being careful and didn't want to burn...Hawaiian Tropic Tanning Oil SPF 4. We made trips inside for Diet Coke or Dr. Pepper and David's Sunflower Seeds and had zero responsibility other than putting together our video taped Spanish Television Commercials for Senorita Almas' Spanish 1 class. Obviously...these days are OVER - or should I say FINITO? Now, I'm living life on the wild side with my SPF 15 moisturizer and my ghostly white skin trying to undo the damage I know is lurking underneath my skin as a result of my misspent youth.

So, the dilemma that I think we all face is this. Tanning is out. Not good for us, no way no how. Even if I wanted to say screw it and make a break for Maui Tan, I have two kids that don't own any pairs of those little goggle thingys they make you wear AND I have a doctor husband who would kick my butt. It's okay for him to drive 85 MPH on the way to work but I can't clock some time in the tanning bed because of what it will do to me. WHATEVER. Again, as usual, I digress and will get to the point.

Okay...so we aren't going to tan. But nylons are out too. Oh, didn't you know? Yep...they are totally out. Up until last Spring, I still thought it was okay to get some that exactly matched your skin tone as long as you didn't wear them with open toed shoes but apparently all nylons are a fashion disaster. And it's spring. And all the cute skirts with the delicious flower patterns and polka dots are calling my name. So what's a horribly white girl to do? Please weigh in on this for me.
  1. Do I go natural with my blindingly white calves and feet?
  2. Do I avoid all skirts, capris and limit myself to pants and long skirts?
  3. Do I reach for the spray on, rub on, might make me orange, substance of my nightmares...self tanner?

Before you weigh in please realize I have sweaty feet. This means my whole foot sweats up to my ankle. My problem with former self tanner has been all the parts of me that sweat or where the straps of my shoe go cause the self tanner to melt off leaving me with pools of orangey-brown spots and splotches all over my feet and ankles. But also please know I am really white. Like super.

Okay please please please let me know what you think. Even if I don't know you - please let me know what to do. It's a big dilemma for me right now and I actually have the bottle of the self tanner that Oprah said was the best in her magazine this month in a bag on my dining table as we speak. Well we aren't technically speaking, but okay. So hurry, I need to know what you think.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amy, you should keep pale. I do, and you know how ghastly white I am. Self Tanners will make you look like a carrot- especially with as fair skin as you have (that's what it does for me anyway) and I think pale is beautiful! I'm trying to start a pale revolution. :)

kaybee said...

if you want to just test the waters, do jergens daily glow. it is gradual and VERY suttle. i love it!! you gotta try it.

Faith said...

Well I don't tan and never wanted to. Nor do I care if nylons are in (I'm wearing them). So I'm not a good judge. If you have to tan, I know my sister uses one that doesn't make you orange. I'll get back to you on the brand. Good luck, We like you just the way you are.

Faith said...

There are many examples, throughout history (and the history of tanning), of societies who valued pale skin. The Romans and Greeks, for example, used lead paints and chalks to whiten their skin, often with disastrous long-term effects like lead poisoning.


Arsenic was another favorite skin whitener, further demonstrating that people throughout history have shown poor judgment!


The beginning of the history of tanning is quite interesting...


In Elizabethan England, pale-faced women would even paint blue lines on their skin to make it appear translucent, and women carried parasols to protect themselves when they went outdoors. This fashion trend also became popular in the United States.

Just thought I'd add this tid bit of history :)

Kori said...

OK so I about peed my pants reading this tanning thing! Baby Oil, crisco, spf 4, Might as well have layed out on a sheet of foil and let the mighty sun do his worst! Oh the days when this was the only thing to worry about!

Check out my new blog...Not as fun as yours, YET, but I just started!

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