3 Year Old Slaps Mother Across The Face - charges are still pending

In the early hours (9:30 a.m) in the quiet bedroom community of Elk Grove California, a 37 year old mother of twins was assaulted by her youngest child, one Jessica Menendez, I mean Meeker. The mother was quietly slumbering in her bed on 800 thread count sheets after succumbing to a head cold earlier the previous evening. It is believed the mother took some cold medicine around 3am due to the fact that she had a neck spasm and a throbbing headache due to said cold. Suddenly, the child in question slapped her mother across the face not once but twice. The mother awoke and grunted. The child then proceeded to inform the mother she wanted Fruit Loops and that we needed to get up.

Experts are expected to criticize the penal system heavily due to the fact that the perpetrator was given a bowl of the fruit loops in question by the victim despite the heinous nature of this crime.

Legal analysts expect that the "Fruit Loop Defense" will be used to excuse the crime. In the early eighties, a murderer used a defense dubbed the "Twinkie Defense", indicating he was hopped up on twinkies and could not think rationally. Sources inside the home do not think this defense will hold up weight upon further examination.

For now, Jessica Menendez Meeker is a person of interest and is being held inside her playroom where she is allowed only to play with her toys and watch movies and eat whatever snacks she orders from the warden. The child's mother is recovering (from her cold) with herbal tea, zycam and sudafed. Stay tuned for further information in this bizarre incident that took place in a quiet home in the suburbs.

This is Katie Meeker, Action News Reporter for the family blog signing off.