I finally figured out why I am a big fat loser.

Hello my lovelies... I have had an epitaph. (Name that movie) I mean an epiphany. Light has struck my brain. (Name that movie) Seriously, I have had the motha of A-HA moments! Since spring has sprung and summer is upon us I have been extra unproductive. I mean, normally I am not the embodiment of productivity. I barely get dinner fixed on a regular basis, I play with my kids, make some chicken noodle soup, put them down for a nap and poof the clock turns to 7:30 p.m. without me taking a breath. I don't know how it happens. But lately, I have been EXTRA unproductive. (Insert the word lazy for unproductive. You know you wanna, so just do it already!) For a perfect example, my daughter just brought me two empty sippie cups saying "We want more apple juice. We WANT MORE APPLE JUICE!" and I'm not even considering taking my computer off my lap to go get it. Why? Cuz I don't WANT TO, gad dum it. I'm just not in the mood ya know?

So I've been contemplating why this could all be happening. I think it could be from a major iron deficiency in my blood bringing back a recurring (actual - not in my head) case of anemia. This COULD be the reason. Really it could. I've been feeling sluggish, extra sleepy and like I'm in slow motion all the time. But it's probably not anemia. And I wouldn't wish it to be so.

Then, I thought maybe I have some other serious illness that I am currently not aware of. Having a doctor for a husband causes a spouse to envision all sorts of ailments given very limited symptoms. Sore throat? Could be rheumatic fever. A runny nose? Possibly some sort of brain hemorrhage. Back pain? Kidney stones for sure! You get the drift. But these things are real diseases and people get seriously sick all the time. I can't afford the kharma of being a hypochondriac. I mean, if I'm always thinking the worst, eventually... you get shot in the butt with a kharma brain blip. So I feel it is respectful to others to keep my neurosis to a bare minimum. Or just keep them private and bug Mike with them late in the night when I can't sleep because I'm sure I have a rare tropical disease and he's trying to sleep.

In ANY CASE... I finally figured it all out today - why I'm just being super lazy. It's my first summer off work in like... my whole life since being a kid. I went to work for Pizza Barn at the Elk Grove Softball Complex snackbar the summer of 86. I even had to apply to social security early to get a permit to work before I was 16. I worked like a DOG that summer. Schlepping chili dogs, nachos and icees. Oh, the ICEE machine. One side cherry, one side cola. It was a chubby girl's downfall for sure! After that summer I decided food service would not be my thing. I ate way too many chili nachos and 1/2 & 1/2 ICEEs than any human should EVER consume. From there, I worked a steady summer job EVERY YEAR since. My mom would start bugging me in like April. "Amy, summer's coming up. All the good jobs are going to be taken. You better get out there and get something lined up." And then, if I didn't have a job by the time school got out, the next Monday, I had to get up, get dressed with mom and dad, and was put out of the house and I could come back in either once I had a job or at the same time they got home from work that night. They told me I would have to spend 8 hours "pounding the pavement" to find a job if I didn't already have one before the end of school. So I ALWAYS had one. I would get my resume' updated (yes, I had a resume' at age 16) and I would always have a job ready to start as soon as school let out. I did lots of stuff, from the aforementioned snack bar, to being a Youth Aide to Gray Davis' (our former governor's) Press Secretary. I worked at a sporting goods store, a photography studio, on my college campus and then my trusty summer jobs just became work and there was no "summer" anymore. So, for 22 years, I have not been off for the summer. 22 years people. No summer break. No summer vacation. No lazy days of summer.

So dang it, I'm taking back the lazy . I have three days left until the official start of summer and you know what? I'm going to be LAZY this summer. Yep, I'm going to go swim in my parents pool, and lay out, and read books, and watch cartoons in the morning and eat Frosted Mini Wheats. I'm going to get a tan for crying out loud. Take that, skin cancer!!! Now, mind you, I still have two 3 year olds to feed, entertain, play with and apparently fetch endless supplies of apple juice for, but still, I'm taking my summer BACK. I might just even walk down to the am/pm and get myself a freakin' ICEE.

Hooray for me.