Cherishing Each Day

It seems as though I have been notified in the past few days that friends of friends or relatives of friends have passed away tragically and suddenly. There's been like 4 people in the past 2 days that I have found out have lost someone close to them. Earlier this week, I was really mad at Mike. I was more hormonal than is even normal for that time of the month and instead of my usual weepy, crying sort of emotions I was feeling this overwhelming rage toward Mike. I think all of the fear and insecurity I have been feeling about him leaving for Afghanistan came bubbling to the surface and I honestly felt an anger that I have never felt before in my life. It was like I could have killed him. And all he did was turn on his computer to play a video game after we went on a date to the movies. I didn't think our date should be over so I flipped out. Like as in flip. I think I said something like "oh, and everyone is SO worried about you cuz you are leaving and I just get to stay here and do all the work. And if you die over there, you'll be this war hero and everyone will say how great you are and I'll still be here doing all the work!" (dramatic exit, door slams, end of scene)

My friend Kori lost her brother in law in a motorcycle accident yesterday. She wrote an amazingly funny and heart wrenching tribute to him on her blog. It really made me think about my own life and how little I am cherishing the moments I have with my family. I enjoy my kids, my parents, my grandmothers etc. But just yesterday I was telling my mom how hard it was to take Grandma Bea to Costco with the girls also by myself. I should be jumping up and down that she's still around to take to Costco with my girls. That I have the chance to build more memories with her. That my girls have the chance to know her. And the same goes for my immediate family. We just never know when in a flash it could all be over and as for me, I would be left standing with a big bag of should of -could of - would of's. I'm going to try and do better and appreciate those I have around me while I have them.