Farewell to Aunt Jeanie

Mike's Aunt Jeanie's funeral is today. The family is all together and we are here because of my surgery. I wish we could be there very badly but timing was horrible making it unable for us to attend. Jeanie is my Mike's Mom's youngest sister. Annette was the oldest but was tragically killed in 1981 in a devastating accident. Then, Kathy is next and she lives in Farmington, Utah. Marilyn was born after Kathy and then Jeanie. Jeanie was single for many years, but finally found the love of her life and a remarkable person in Uncle Kim. They were married in 1992 just a few months after Mike and I. We attended each others weddings and were excited to be newlyweds together. However, Mike and I quickly began making the mistakes you make when you marry young. We squabbled and fought and any sort of external stress like big family gatherings brought out my insecurities so our bickering was always the worst during these times. Aunt Jeanie and Uncle Kim however seemed to step into marriage and their life together perfectly. Maybe it is because they found each other lately in life but every time they were together you just got the sense of how grateful they were for each other. The treated each other with this quiet tenderness that I have rarely seen in any couple. Where Mike and I remained "individuals" who acted without true regard for the other, Jeanie and Kim were a unit from day one. It was a great example to us as newlyweds of how we hoped we would be someday. Even though we still squabble back and forth, it's rarely serious and I am proud of the marriage we have worked to create. Jeanie and Kim had a direct effect on what we still hope to achieve.

We saw Aunt Jeanie at our family reunion in July. She has struggled with immune issues for a long time and has had to be extremely careful of what she exposed herself to. However, Aunt Jeanie was always in the middle of fun. She was quick to laugh and expressed love easily. I don't think I ever saw her in which she didn't tell me that she loved me or said something very personal and kind. She had no children of her own so her nieces and nephews were very important to her and I always got the feeling that she loved us very much. I know that through my struggles with infertility that she prayed very hard for me. Aunt Jeanie wanted to have children and I felt she, more than anyone else, truly understood the pain of not having that happen. But when I had the girls, she was overjoyed for us.

Aunt Jeanie was so much fun and had a wonderful time. She lived with Marilyn and Bill when Mike was a little boy for awhile and Mike has so many happy memories of Aunt Jeanie making simple events like waiting up for Santa or singing songs extra special. She made up nicknames for people and loved to kick back and snuggle together on the couch and giggle and talk. When she sat next to you she always held your hand or tickled your back or put her head on her shoulder. There were just little and gentle things she did to let you know she loved you.

Aunt Jeanie courageously battled the cancer that took her life. Her attitude, faith and willingness to rise up and meet challenges was an amazing example to me. My heart feels sad for Uncle Kim and the entire family because her loss will be felt extremely deeply. She was a big part of the glue that holds the family together. I will miss her very much and hope with all my heart that Mike and I will someday grow to have a fraction of her capacity to love each other and other people and to treat them with the sort of kindness that she always showed.