Happy Birthday Mommy

This lady gave birth to me. She taught me to talk (a huge help to me in life it turns out) and to pee in the toilet. She also taught me many more lessons. We call them in our family...DIANE-ISMS. Let me please impart the wisdom of the ages. Well at least all the wisdom you can cram in to SIXTY FOUR years! Happy Birthday Mom!

• If you don't have time to do something right, how do you have time to do it over?
• It's not your boss's responsibility to get along with you, it is your responsibility to get along with your boss.
• It makes my teeth long. (this is something that gives you the heeby jeebies)
• No matter how much you think you know, when you go to buy a car, they always know more. Just remember that.
• I only have one thing to say. (this is never true)
• You like those pretty teeth? You want to keep em? Keep it up! (in a threatening voice. I still have my original teeth)
• Go to Russia!!! (to yell at cars on the 4th of July if they happen to cut you off)
• A lot can be learned from that movie Funky Brewster. (Ferris Beuller)
• Strangers, they just have to talk to me. (she stares them down in an uncomfortable manner until they acknowledge her)
• It's called being an adult. Welcome to adulthood.
• They're four. (or they're three, or they're two, anything to get her grandbabies outta hot water)
• Hello? HELLO?
• We went to the Hamptons on vacation! (It was Hampton Virginia...ooops)
• You know, it's a law in the State of California if they operate on you, they have to take out your spleen.
• Welcome to my world.
• There's more of those than they have hairs.
• You know as much of that as the man in the moon.
• Try being me.