Arrested. I should be.

You know I did it. I couldn't help it. It was just there, glowing at me like a beacon, taunting me to give up my free time and surrender. So I did. And it was delicious. I giggled and high fived the Meekster and giggled some more. I was happy I did it. Not ashamed at all. Until, today, the morning after.

I watched New Moon. Twice. And I love Jacob Black. Did you hear that Internet? I love him. But I figured out that it's okay. I love him sort of like a son. Like the idea that Katie or Jessica might marry someone like Jacob makes me happy. And giggle. And tingle. Oh dear. Maybe I love him a little bit more than a son.

It was bad enough when I had my crush on the Efron. First, I was younger. Second, he's older than Jacob. Now...I'm older and the object of my crush is younger. Am I going get the hots for Zach and Codie next? How sick am I?

I think more than anything I'd just like Jacob to mow my lawn, or sell me an alarm system. Is that so bad? Alarm salesmen don't wear shirts right? ugh. I am beyond hope.

So there you have it. Call the cops, send in the SWAT team. I am NOT a cougar. I'm just an old lady with a crush on a child. Sick sick sick. If Mike was going gaga over one of the Gossip Girls I would slap him and make him go talk to the Bishop. Double standard much?

My favorite part is when Jacob says "Age is just a number baby, what are you like 40 now?" Not quite Jacob, not quite yet. But I'm close. Which is just gross.