The Things I Hope They Hear...

Long before I became the keeper of two munchkins of my own, I lived across the street from a very dear neighbor named Jody on Andrews AFB. Just before moving onto our street and becoming my friend, Jody had given birth to a cute cherub of a little boy. This kid was the easiest, most chilled out baby child I had ever seen and further encouraged me that possibly, someday, in the far off future, I too could do this whole parental thing. But that's not the reason for the post.

Jody had this thing on her fridge that listed all the things we "should"say to our kids to encourage happy, healthy little people. I think it might have mentioned things you shouldn't say too. Or maybe that was just how I remember it. Anyway, I have been challenged today due to the fact that I have run out of positive things to say to my kids. Unfortunately, I can come up with a whole host of things they could improve upon. So instead of giving into my craving for some negative reinforcement around here, I'm going to try and come up with some better ideas. In saving this list, I'm hoping to turn to it if I ever happen to run out of ideas again. Like when they are 15 and sneak a boy into the house when I'm not at home and when I come home at a weird time and go back into my bedroom and take off my pants and go to hang them up in my walk in closet and find their boyfriend hiding in my walk in closet, I hope very much to think back upon this first list and not the second one. (This happened to a certain Dad I know when his daughter was 15. The daughter might or might NOT have been me. And how stupid of a boy hides in the walk in closet of the parent's bedroom when he hears the keys jingling in the front door lock and the girl yells, "quick go hide!")

Things I Hope My Kids Remember Me Saying...

• Great idea!
• I'm so lucky that I got to be your Mom!
• I'm sorry, I was wrong.
• You are right.
• You can do it.
• I believe it you.
• You are amazing.
• I like you.
• I'm glad you are one of my best friends.
• You were the best one there.
• You are smart.
• That was a great choice.
• I am proud of you.
• I will always love you no matter what.
• I will always be on your team and in your corner.
• Even if you do something wrong, I will be proud of you if you tell the truth.
• You are kind.
• What you did was thoughtful of others.
• You make me happy.
• I'm glad we are a family.
• You make our home a fun place to be.
• Your smile is one of the best things I ever see.
• You are the best part of my whole day.
• I like our talks.
• Thank you for sharing.
• You really did a good job at following directions.
• You are very pretty/handsome.
• Way to go!
• Hurry...let's hug!
• kisses!!!
• You are a great helper.
• You are the BEST kid I could have ever hoped for!

And always...

• If you get stuck...If you get scared...If you are sad...If you are happy...If you are sorry...If I'm not there, but you need comfort...you can ALWAYS say a prayer.

Here's a few things I hope my kids never remember hearing me say.

• You are stupid. Or that was stupid. Or how stupid.
• You make my life harder.
• You are bad.
• My kids don't do that (comparing them to another kid. For example, Sally hit someone at school. My kids don't do that. We are better than Sally)
• Your brother/sister did it better.
• That is so retarded.
• What a lame brain decision.
• I miss the days before I had kids.
• I need a break from you.
• I need you to go away.
• Just wait until your Dad gets home.

And finally, I hope to never ever say:

• I can't believe your stupid boyfriend saw me in my underwear when he was hiding in my walk in closet because you snuck him in the house when we weren't home which is totally against the rules. You better run and you better run fast because I am seriously considering ending your very short existence on this planet.

I think it's good to correct your kids and expect good behavior. In order to teach, you have to point out negative behavior. But I HAVE to remember that I get such better results when I am positive in my teaching instead of scolding or enforcing time outs or loss of privileges.

Okay, I think I can go back in there with the right attitude. I just needed to get my head together because today has been one of those days. Mom and Dad (us) feel crappy, kids are over their fevers (thank goodness) but have been cooped up for days now and are just climbing the walls with energy and spastic 4 year oldness. If ya know what I mean.