Friday, August 13, 2010

Blogger Block

I have blogger's block. I looked it up. It's a real thing. It is. I can't think of what to write. Every time I sign on, I hem and haw and just have nothing in my brain. I think it's the new schedule, kindergarten and all the getting up at 645. Yesterday, I was going to get one of those low fat, build a better breakfast sandwiches from Subway after I dropped the girls off. I first drove to subway and realized I didn't have my purse or my phone. I drove home, got my phone, noticed all the lights I left on and the girl's nightgowns on the floor and picked up, turned off lights and drove back to subway. Phone? Check! Purse? Not so much. So I drove home. Got my purse. Acknowledged out loud to myself how stupid I am and drove back to Subway. OOPS. This isn't subway. I drove to Carl's Jr. What? How did I get HERE? Where did Subway go? The past two times, I was at Subway.

So I grabbed a breakfast burrito and went to the grocery store. Six boxes of cereal, three jars of mustard and one head of broccoli for a family of four and my head was hurting. I just wanted to suck my thumb and take a nap.

So there you go Internet. I'm taking a vacation. Not an actual vacation where in I would be at the beach, alone, with a book and a virgin pina colada...but a virtual vacation. From blogging. I will be back on Labor Day. And when I say I will be back...baby I will be BACK. As in on Fiyah!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Favorite Things Summer Edition

I have a whole truck load of stuff to write about. Vacation highlights, kindergarten, engagement excitement and a slew of confessions. They are all coming up. But I just can't stop myself from listing some of my most recent favorite things. Like Oprah. Except there are no give aways. Someday I hope to have a give away on my blog. I hear it's the only way you can really get people to comment. And did you know comments are the secret to how much you are loved? If I did have a give away, I think it would be stuff in my house that I just never got around to using. Wouldn't that be a good idea? I have crap all around this place still in the box. It seemed like a good idea when I was at Costco/Target/Pier One/Home Goods but then it just never materialized ya know? Anyway, this about my latest favorite things.


  • Mad Men is back baby! That Don Draper....mmmmmm....he could cheat on me anytime.
  • The website eShakti. Seriously, they have endless designs of dresses in the most flirty, vintage, cool prints and styles. But it doesn't end there. YOU get to pick what kind of sleeves you want to have, how long you want the dress, what sort of neckline you prefer. And then you send in your measurements while wearing the bra and/or foundation garment (girdle/spanx) that you will be wearing while wearing the dress. Their little elves sew and sew and presto chango...the dress arrives exactly as you have specified. Isn't that the coolest? How many times have I passed up a dress because it has flutter or cap sleeves and my arm fat is going to spill out? Our how many dresses would I love but they are so short my knee scar shows? If you have any problem areas or just like cool dresses, you should check out this website. http://www.eshakti.com/default.asp
  • Teachers! I volunteered in the girls' class today. I can't believe how awesome these teachers are. Our teacher is perfect for my girls. They love her and let me tell you, after seeing her in action, she is amazingly wonderful. It never stops amazing me how hard teachers work.
  • Upstate New York: We just went out to NY on vacation. We didn't hit NYC but instead were up around the Niagara Falls region. I can't tell you how beautiful this area of the country is. Rolling hills and farms with white farm houses and red barns. Amish influences in the architechture and old fashioned Main Streets in little tiny towns. It was like a slice of Americana of a time long gone by. I loved it. Mike's family reunion was in Palmyra, New York. It was so beautiful and amazing.
  • Waxed eyebrows. I admit I had neglected my eyebrows for awhile. I got them shaped not long ago and it made such a difference. Don't neglect your brows!
  • OPI Gel Soak Off Nail Color - this stuff is amazing. Whenever I get a manicure, my polish chips off in like a day or two. OPI has developed this new nail color that is in a little pot and it has a gel texture. You paint it on and then set it with a blue light. It dries immediately so it's almost impossible to chip or smear. You don't have to file the natural nail on top or damage your natural nail bed in any way. And the color stays chip free for at least two weeks. The ad says three weeks but I'm really hard on my hands. You can get anything from really dark to super light. They have all the most popular OPI colors. I'm not sure if you can buy this stuff or if it's only done in professional salons. But I watched the nail tech no it and it didn't look hard at all. You would have to have one of those blue light machines but it would be worth the investment.
  • Ali & Roberto - I can't help it. I know they'll never make it. But I get sucked in every time.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Life Has Been Dry Humping My Face

My Mom is on vacation so I know she won't see the title of this post and call me and ask me why I find the need to be so vulgar. If she did call me however, I would calmly tell her that the reason I needed to be so vulgar in the title of my post is because the only way to explain my life recently is as if the universe is dry humping my face. I know you guys know what I mean.

First, the girls started kindergarten. But it is July, you say, how can that be? Yes, well, that's what I thought too. However our school district has some crazy idea that year round school is a great idea and the girls started kindergarten in July. The ink wasn't even dry on their little baby graduation diplomas from preschool. They had like zero summer break. And back to school. I felt like we all got hit by a truck. I'll do a separate post about the first day because I have pictures and they are darn cute.

Then, after two days of kindergarten we went on vacation. To New York. Once again I let Mike make the flight arrangements. Stupid stupid me. We flew at night, from San Francisco, with many stops. He always does that to save a couple of bucks. We end up spending way more than we saved in parking fees, gas, luggage checking and ham sandwiches at the airport but he feels like he is getting a deal so I guess he's happier in the end. As for us? We are zombies by the time it's all over. We don't even know where we are. Katie and I have gotten really good at sleeping on each other on airplanes and during layovers. We were in New York for both Mike's extended family reunion and to spend time with Rick and Heather's family before Rick leaves on deployment. The girls loved playing with their cousins. We also got to meet my new sister in law to be who we love. I will post more on that later because it is too good of a story and deserves it's own post. It was a great trip. Just long and exhausting.

Then, back to kindergarten we went. Only now, I had missed back to school night so all the other parents were pros and I was a lost and lonely soul, looking like an idiot. I spent the past three nights trying to get the girls the right size of backpacks, homework caught up and reading all about our new school, new teacher, new policies, procedures and schedule. Kindergarten is currently kicking my ass.

The day we returned from our night of never ending airline travel, our good friend Matt came to stay for two nights. Matt is a friend of ours from Mike's residency in Nebraska. He just got back from Afghanistan and came out to see the Bay Area, run a marathon and see a girl. (not in that order) One of my goals in life is to see Matt happily married and raising children. He will be the best Dad in the world. We enjoyed his visit and the girls asked all day long "Does Matt really HAVE to leave?"

So finally... today is the first day where I have my house back to myself, have not changed out of pajamas and am preparing for a much needed nap. When I resurface, I will post amazing stories and pictures. Stay tuned for exciting stuff.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Get Out And Don't Come Back Until You Get A Job

As a kid, summer vacation was anticipated with mixed emotion. On one hand: no school, sleeping in, T.V., swimming and general laziness. On the other hand: my parents commitment to prevent all of the previous activities from occurring. They thought summer meant you should have plans and activities to keep you busy. Early on it was Vacation Bible School and then summer day camps that took place at the Community Colleges in the area. I'll admit, they were fun. I don't know if you can compare it to sleeping in and watching a Brady Bunch Marathon then laying out on my silver floatie in our pool, but it was as much fun as day camp at a college can be. I learned calligraphy, tennis, swimming, art, drama, astronomy etc. It was for geeky kids who's parents wanted to give them intellectual stimulation. I guess it was good for me and exposed me to a group of kids that I would not normally have hung around. I ended up marrying a man very much like those summer day camp kids. So all in all it was a good thing for me. But that's not what this post is about.

As time went on, I approached the summer in which I would be 15 1/2 and it would be legal in the State of California for me to get an actual job. I had to have a social security card so my Mom made sure I took care of that before school got out. My parents warned me to get out there and get a jump on finding a summer job. Once summer vacation started, I was expected to go to work, at least part time. I did not pay attention. So Monday morning, the first real day of summer vacation dawned and my Mom woke me up at 7 a.m. just like normal. She told me to get up. I was very confused. Did she not know it was SUMMER? She explained that because I didn't have a job yet, I would be leaving the house with her and Dad that morning and "pounding the pavement" until I found one. I would do this each day, all day until I found someone who would agree to hire me. I could not believe my ears. I didn't even know what "pounding the pavement" meant. Realize I was only 15 1/2 and didn't even have my learner's permit so I would literally be walking the streets of my small town to hunt for a job. ugh.


Because I was 15 and had not realized that they could not actually kill me or harm me in any way, I got up and left the house armed with copies of my resume' printed on light pink paper. My resume included my name, telephone number and all the extra curricular activities I had participated in. It also included three personal references; a family friend and two ladies I had babysat for. It was not impressive.


I knew I just couldn't work in fast food. It's a great avenue for teenagers and the kids at McDonald's looked like they were having fun but I knew I just couldn't put on that hat and ask people if they wanted "fries with that". I went to Bel Air first, the grocery store in our town that was known to pay top dollar to teenage baggers. They explained I had to apply at their main office in Sacramento. I went to various stores, Paper Place, Corner Closet, MsFits etc. All places I liked to shop and did more of that really than look for work. I think I hit Round Table for lunch who explained I had to be 16 to work there. I went to a friend's house and wasted the rest of the afternoon drinking sun tea and complaining about my plight.


I knew the next morning would find me back out on the street. My Dad must have felt sort of sorry for me because he came home with the name of a man named Doug, who owned the Pizza Barn, a long time (now gone) pizza establishment in Elk Grove. He explained that this man also operated the snack bar at the softball complex at Elk Grove park and needed part time help whenever the softball complex was open. This would be most weeknights and all day Saturday and Sunday. I called Doug that evening and we arranged to meet at the Pizza Barn the next day. I totally dressed up and arrived 10 minutes early. I sold the crap out of myself to the point that Doug (a nice crusty old bald man) laughed right at me in the interview. He actually held up his hand to tell me to stop talking already and that I was hired. I would start off working at the softball complex snack bar the next day for a four hour shift. Woohoo! I'd hang out at the park, serve some nachos and flirt with cute boys all summer. I saw myself hand delivering sunflower seeds and Gatorade to dugouts of college aged boys who would worship me for quenching their thirst.

It didn't turn out that way. I swear that snack bar was the busiest snack bar in America. We sold way too many choices; nachos, hot dogs, polish hot dogs, popcorn, sodas, icees, candy, pizza and the list went on and on. There was always a line. Always. And there was a cash register in which the change was not calculated. That's right people. I might be the youngest person alive that had to make change out of my brain. Seriously difficult for this math impaired girl. In any case, it was hot, sticky, cheesy but very fun. The softball players were more lesbian than hot guys but the players and families were both friendly and my co-workers were nice. I remember this guy I worked with that I really liked got fired for stealing money from the register. How old Doug knew it was him is still a mystery. It's not like the register kept count of the money in any accurate way.

I lived on cherry/blue raspberry icees that summer. Just the other day I took the girls to Burger King and they got to have an icee. They had cherry and blue raspberry. I told the girls to get them mixed and to just trust me, they'd like it. They did and they loved it and have been begging for an icee everyday since.

I think this was a perfect first summer job. It taught me to be on time, to be part of a team, to work quickly, to deal with customers and to make change!

I want the girls to know about all the jobs I've ever had so this is the first post in a series about my jobs. Jessica told me the other day that she didn't believe that I had ever had a real job. So it inspired me to write about the many and varied jobs I have had so she can know her Mom did something besides make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and clip toenails. Seriously, I clip 40 finger and toe nails each week besides my own. Figure that out over five years. That is a lot of clipping. Gross.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

You Got A Friend In Me...

Went and saw Toy Story with the girls, Mike and my parents. It was amazing. My favorite Pixar except I really loved Nemo. But it's every bit as good. Without ruining it for you I just want to share that it's so wonderful to know how many of us in this world have common experiences in childhood. If we didn't grow up all the same, how could we all get the jokes. Childhood is an amazingly special time that we should cherish and protect no matter if it is our own childhood or the childhood of our kids or the childhood of the kid of a friend. It's such a special time. And it's so short. I have a renewed commitment to helping my girls and all kids that I come in contact with hold on to that magic fairy dust that keeps life innocent and free of stress and fun. It was so fun to laugh through this movie as I held my babies on my lap and snuggled with them when they got too heavy. When the sad parts came I just held them tight and smelled the tops of their heads over and over again. It helped.

Go see this movie with a kid you love today. And if you don't have a kid, borrow one. It's so fun to see it through their eyes.

And my kids are never leaving for college. Ever. EVER.

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Tale Of The Firefighter & The Doctor

Once upon a time there were two little girls.

After two years of study, work and play, they graduated summa cume laude (or in other words they got straight Gold Stars) from the prestigious Tiny Tots Preschool. Early on, they knew they wanted to pledge the Alpha Beta Cappa (ABC) sorority. Katie majored in Art with an emphasis on the many uses of glitter. Jessica triple majored in "knowing it all" and according to her mother, she really must have learned a lot because she really DOES think she knows it all now.
Upon Jessica receiving her diploma, her teacher told a little bit about her. She wants to be a firefighter when she grows up. This was a surprise to her mom and dad given she can not watch and in fact hides during the part in Sleeping Beauty when Prince Phillip has to battle the fire to get to Aurora. But apparently, Jessica has a reason for wanting to be a firefighter when she grows up. (See post edit at the bottom of the post)

Upon Katie receiving her diploma, her teacher announced that Katie wanted to be a Doctor when she grows up. Her parents knew she wanted to be a Doctor because she tells her Daddy that she wants to grow up and work at his office so she can see him all the time. (Little did we know there was another reason we would discover later -see post edit also)

The graduation was so nice. The graduates demonstrated their educational accomplishments by saying The Pledge of Allegiance, singing the "Days of the Week" song, reciting the months of the year in order and a poem about how they are the future leaders of the world. Needless to say, their Mother cried her eyes out. She was an emotional wreck. The Dad remained stoic and did not shed a tear. It must be allergies that caused his eyes to water.
All in all, our preschool experience was perfect for our family. Kindergarten here we come!
(post edit - the girls have been talking about their jobs they are going to have when they grow up. Apparently, the reason Jessica is going to be a firefighter is so she can get the people who get hurt in the fire and take them to Katie the doctor who can fix them and make them better. Then, they can still see each other every day and be on the same team when they are big. Have I mentioned that I LOVE these girls?)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

And It's Time Once Again For Me To Face My Shame - In Other Words - Eclipse Comes Out Tomorrow

Yes friends, it's that time again. Unless you live under a rock, you are aware that the third Twilight movie starts tonight at midnight. And if you think I will struggle to not ditch my sleeping babies and husband and hit the multiplex, you are CORRECT. I am not seeing this movie until Thursday. Thursday! It's like forever from now. And yes, I love the story, the books, the characters, the whole idea of a hidden world within our own. But that's not the real reason I am excited. Let's face it. I am excited about seeing little boys who are pretending to be werewolves because it makes me feel tingly. And it makes my heart flutter. And it makes me...giggle. I love Jacob. I have always loved Jacob. I would pick Jacob. Edward would not have stood a chance. Jacob is awesome and a total hunka hunka.

Face inside my palm. Shame. Pure shame.

"My name is Amy and I am a Twi-Mom."

"Hi Amy!"

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Am I A Mother? Yes. A Genius? I think so.

Today my naughty children did not want to eat their breakfast. First, they wanted a bowl of strawberries with brown sugar on top. So I provided the fruit with just a smidge of brown sugar because it was too early to fight them and they ganged up on me. Then, they wanted rice candy from our Japanese food last night. Nope. No candy, was my reply. Whining ensued. I offered cereal, toast, eggs, bacon, waffles...all sort of breakfast items were available. They wanted rice candy. No. Please? No. Back and forth.

The morning went on and frankly, I was just tired of trying to convince them to eat something healthy-ish. But I knew if they ate nothing they would be cranky and hungry earlier for lunch which would just screw up the whole day. They say necessity is the mother of all invention.

I am the mother and this was my invention. "Girls, pretend one of you is a duckie at the park. I'll give the other person bread and you can feed it to the little sister duck." Cheers and celebratory jumping. So I gave each of them a slice of high fiber wheat bread and they tore it up in little squares and threw it on the ground while the other flapped their wings and bent their head down and ate it off the ground. They both ate two slices of high fiber bread along with a glass of water. Strawberries, bread and water. Not a bad breakfast and I didn't have to toast, pour or cook it in any way. I am a genius. And yes I will be trying the same trick the next morning I am just too tired to cook.

Quack quack.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

If I Could Write You a Love Song...

Mike and I noticed something strange when we had the girls. It was something so unexpected. We had prepared for parenthood you guys. After 13 years we had our plan in hand. There wasn't any tidbit of info we thought would catch us off guard. We knew what to Expect When We Were Expecting while we were both Baby Wise and full of Love & Logic if you know what I mean. So in comes these two little lives and all of a sudden, all the cheesy, the most gushy, syrupy love songs on the radio were no longer about each other. They had been written specifically as beautiful ballads for our girls.

I'm about ready to date myself and by date myself I don't mean I'm about ready to take myself out for dinner & a movie. Badah - Bing! All the 80's love songs we had thought were about each other were instead completely re-written on our hearts and seemed to sum up exactly how we felt as we fell in love with these two little ladies. "You're the Inspiration", "Waiting For a Star To Fall", "After All", "Wind Beneath My Wings" and "Always & Forever". All cheese. All about my daughters. All causing these strange lumps to swell in our throats and moisture to leak from our eyes. What the hell was happening here? It must be the lack of sleep? Nope. Turns out it was true love.

So today, we were coming home from swim lessons and the famous ballad "The Rose" came on the radio by the amazing Bette Midler. Katie asked what this beautiful sound was? So I cranked it up and sang it for her and Jessica at the top of my lungs. And by the third verse I couldn't sing anymore because I could not stop crying. Tears and squeaking. That's all I had. And I realized that there has never been a song or words that sums up what I feel about my journey to and through motherhood quite like The Rose.

"Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow. Lies the seed that with the sun's love, in the Spring becomes the rose."

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Wam, Bam I hate SPAM

You know what I am really sick of? As in come ON already! SPAM. I mean, how do those people KNOW that I have a tiny little penis and might be interested in enlarging it? Who told? It's ridiculous. Does anyone really trust the cleansing of your colon to someone who sent you an email? And if the people who send this are listening...no I'm really not a horny housewife, but thanks for asking.

I'll admit it. I've had my email address for a long time. As in a long long long time. I had it before I learned about internet privacy laws and how to protect myself by never opting in to anything. I shop a lot and use my email address. I didn't pay attention at first to all the boxes you need to check and being careful they weren't sharing my information...just send me the freakin' book/clothes/make-up already! I was in a hurry. So I probably made some errors. But in the past three days, I have received three personal emails. (I know, sad huh) But I have received over 250 emails from companies wanting me to buy something. Most of these have received my business in the past, but some of these companies peddling vitamins, penis enlargement surgery, colon cleansing and porn have not been patronized by yours truly. Hey, I just caught a correlation. Follow my logic here. Maybe if I took the vitamins they are selling, my colon would be clean and my penis would grow opening up a career in the porn industry? Maybe it's a conspiracy and these are all from the same person and they secretly love me and think following this path in my life will lead to enlightenment and fulfillment? Yeah, maybe not.

Be careful out there...it's a big world wide web.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Men Men Men...Manly Men

The men in my life have taught me some great things. How to multi-task, hunt for a sale, love of shoes and goat cheese....ha ha HA! Just joking. But yesterday was Father's Day and it would be just down right rude to let it pass without a tribute. So here are some real things the men in my life have taught me.

Mike Meeker, the husband: How to properly load a dishwasher, how to scramble the best eggs on the planet earth, how to not tip my hand too soon (in both Risk and life) and how to do laundry. (in theory...it's never been put into actual practice by me. He does ALL the washing. I KNOW!)

John Santos, the Papa: that Hawaii is the best place on the planet earth, to be proud of your heritage and that I was pretty just how I was. I didn't need to change one bit.

Tom Oliver Sr., the Papa #2: a garden is a peaceful place to spend time, how to shoot concord grapes in my mouth, what mint, anise and rosemary smelled like and that you can have as much fun with a hose and a bucket and you can in an entire swimming pool.

Bill Meeker, the father in law: baseball players might be almost as talented as softball players (I'm still not sure), people can change a lot about themselves if they are willing to look hard in the mirror and if somebody talks too loudly during a television show, you can just keep turning up the volume until they get the hint and shut up.

Ron, Ken, Rick, Chuck and Steve Meeker, the brothers: Being the big sister is the best job on the planet. You get to boss around a bunch of boys and they laugh instead of get mad.

and finally...the most important boy...

Thom Oliver Jr. , the FATHER: you can not learn anything with your mouth moving, do a good job and don't expect freebies or to get rich quickly - just work hard and it will work out, boring is between your ears, do NOT drink at a high school party when your dad is scheduled to pick you and your friends up, be honest, be calm, help family and look forward to having grandbabies.

Thanks guys and Happy Father's Day!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A Study In Contradiction...

Mike and I were talking the other night and we decided we are very conflicted individuals. Seriously, you laugh, but we are. We fall into certain stereo types for sure, but dig a little deeper into our gooey caramel centers and we are totally conflicted about stuff. Here's what I mean.

I have always been a Democrat. I used to say I was morally a conservative but fiscally I was pretty liberal. My parents assured me that as I got older I would grow more conservative as I made more money, because I would want to keep it. But the opposite is happening. I am getting more liberal. And then Mike, OH MIKE...he told me on the way home from Medford the other day that he wants to retire in Ashland, Oregon instead of Central Point because Ashland is a hippie town and he'd rather live by liberals than conservatives. What? Umm...excuse me MAJOR Meeker, Eagle Scout, Mormon guy...aren't you supposed to be conservative? He still considers himself conservative on most issues but he's gotten about 99 times more liberal since he became a doctor. So why are we conflicted about this? Because of our religion, our families and most of our friends are totally the opposite. We are surrounded on all sides by conservative republicans for the most part. We even know people who think republicans are too liberal! And I know lots of people don't understand how in the world we could even get near the label of liberal. But at least for me, I think it's time I quit making excuses and own my identity. And part of it is a person who is more to the left than I feel comfortable admitting. I am a card carrying liberal, except they don't give out cards. I am a tree huggin, peace lovin, live and let live, big government, free speech, gun controlling liberal. I'm sure I will get a comment or two about how conservatives are the real "live and let live" folks. But I'm sorry you guys, I just don't see it. I told my Grandma that I think I might be a socialist and she laughed so hard because she was sure I was kidding. *** See post-edit at the bottom ***

Here's another conflicted area of our lives. We believe strongly that we should spend our life in the service of others. Mike's whole career is service based. Service to country and service to his patients. I am a stay at home Mom and I believe in giving time to helping others. It's just... well, it's just...how do I explain it? Well, see, we'd rather, um, watch TV. There I said it. We'd rather snuggle up on the couch and watch something we have recorded on the DVR instead of serving anybody. We feel guilty about it because this love of couch potato-ness flies in the face of what we believe.

Additionally, the fact is we are old. Yet, our souls feel so young. I still feel about 17 years old emotionally. I still get nervous if I have to go into a new social situation. I still crave popularity and want to please people. Shouldn't I have outgrown that? I am a mother and almost 40 for crying out loud. I shouldn't care about people liking me or whether someone sits by me at the next social event. But I do. I really do. Sometimes I just want to tell my old wrinkled self to grow up and put on my big girl panties. But inside, I'm still that kid at the roller rink praying that I have friends to skate with on a Friday night.

I miss working. But I don't want to go back to work. I still identify myself as someone with a career yet I have not had one for 2 1/2 years. I always said I would go back to work when the girls go to 1st grade. But won't they need me even more once they start to encounter mean girls, peer pressure, sports, activities, lunches to pack and spelling tests? I mean, how did I ever learn to spell with two working parents? How did my lunch get packed? But do I really want to be out of the work place for so long that by the time I go back people look at me as a sad, pathetic empty nester who is trying to fill time with her little jobby job? That was a rhetorical question. The answer is no. So basically I go back in 18 months or I don't go back ever? See why all the conflict? It's maddening.

Diet Coke. Need I say more?

Mike and I both feel conflicted about whether we are strict enough with the girls. On one hand, we are old school. (probably because we are old) We were raised when kids still got spanked and you told your mother to shut up if you had indeed decided that you were ready for death. We were both a little bit scared of our parents and it kept us in line. But in today's world, we are supposed to know that spanking doesn't work and that we need to empower our kids to stand up for themselves and question things. Apparently there is scientific evidence that this kinder, gentler parenting produces better kids. But we just aren't sure we buy it. Can you imagine how much our conflictedness (not a word) is screwing up our kids? Are we strict or permissive? Are we old school or new school? Poor little cherubs. They are probably so confused. I know we are.

And oh boy, this next one is the big one. I am conflicted about religion. I'm not conflicted about God. Totally do not have conflicts with doctrine. However, I feel like a cafeteria Mormon. I show up with my empty tray and I take servings of what looks good to me, instead of what is being served. Hmmm, lets see...I'll start off with an appetizer of family prayer, then I'll take a serving of love one another, a main course of Jesus and a side of forever families please. I'll take a big slice of warm fuzzy feelings topped with honesty and sprinkled with integrity for dessert. Oh, nothing to drink for me. (Because you don't serve Diet Coke anyway) As I fill up my tray with stuff that feels good and goes down easily, I wonder what I am missing out on. I steer clear of the hard work, working through trials, missionary work, temple work. Well let's just be honest, I steer clear of anything with "work" in the title. I don't discuss religion with anyone really because it makes me feel like a phony fake fraud. But here it is. For all the Internet to see. I am conflicted. I used to not be conflicted. I used to want to do the work. I used to love the work. I also used to love entertaining and my job and putting on make up and artichokes. Now, I just feel tired. So overwhelmed and so tired. I know the answer. Pick up the ball, quit whining and run with it already. I know this is the truth. I know because I have prayed about it. And I got an answer. The answer came to my heart. It said, "you need to work harder". It said "you'll be happier if you work harder." But I remain conflicted, on my couch watching Modern Family. See the problem?

And finally, I am conflicted about diets. Do they really not work? But what about all those people who lose weight on a diet? Is it really about maintaining choices you can keep up for a life time? Or should you hunker down with the celery and diet? I hate celery you guys. But I have these last stinking 40 pounds to lose. I want to lose it. But then I think...do you REALLY want to? If you REALLY wanted to, wouldn't you just go on a diet already? I've been either on a diet, going on a diet, cheating on a diet or out of control stuffing my face since I was 10. I can recite the nutritional labels of most foods and could write my own diet manual. I have gained and lost my body weight several times over. And yet here I sit, stuck and conflicted. Should I make sensible choices tomorrow but not stress super hard about the weight? If I keep that up over the long run, the weight will eventually come off right? Or I could just take a deep breath and charge into the land of food journals and portion measuring. I'm just not sure.

Feel free to comment if you have any wisdom to impart. I'll take all I can get at this point. Also, please don't worry about us. We may be conflicted but we are gold medal champions at blocking stuff out and are currently serving our second term as the co-chairs of the denial committee. So I really don't think about how my life is a big fat sham all that often. What do you feel conflicted about? Please, to share? (and if you get that movie reference you know how old I am).


POST-EDIT:
Regarding "socialism"... Mike and my dad got their panties in a wad at this part of the post. Mike is in the Air Force, so, for the record (and for big brother, if he is reading), no, I am not a member of any socialist party and I'm not a pinko-commie. And apparently, I'm not aware of all the past horrors and future ramifications of socialist regimes. Stalin, Lenin...bad dudes,agreed. Communism sucks. All I am saying is that what's going on here with the big business/special interest isn't all too cool either? Capice? And no I have not joined the Italians.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Like a Froggy Ferny Cabbage...

This past weekend, Mike Meeker and I got away for a little romantic stay in San Francisco. Say what you will about San Francisco...I know it can be a bit much for those with a more conservative palette. But for me, San Francisco is my kind of town. The food, the architecture, the water, the Golden Gate Bridge, the food, the theatre, the wackadoo people, the food, the shopping, the topography, Alcatraz and oh, did I mention the food? We stayed at the very impressive and cool J.W Marriott not to be confused with the plain ol' regular Marriott. Our room overlooked Union Square and was just steps from Nordstroms which was having their half yearly sale thank you very much. Funny story. Mike could not for the life of him remember where we were staying. Upon arriving in the city he googled our location on his iPhone only to lead us to a spot halfway across the golden gate bridge. It showed our hotel in the middle of the San Francisco Bay. So there was much yelling and male/female oriented arguing about maps vs. asking for effing directions already!!! I turned down several one way streets going the wrong way all the while screaming "I feel like I am in a canyon and getting chlaustro (my abbreviation for claustrophobia)." Mike was just sticking to his guns and kept giving me the directions from his phone. His trust in technology over common sense was driving me bazerk. Finally, we arrived at our ultra mod and fancy hotel and thanks to an ex Navy guy at the reservation desk, we got upgraded to a fancier room on the 17th floor with a view of the city and the bay. And every time Mike got in a cab for the next 2 days he would freeze up and give the name of the wrong hotel. First cab driver asked him "Where to?" His response, "The Hilton". My response "ummm No. The JW Marriott." Second cab driver asked him "Where to?" His response, "The C.W. Hilton." My response, "That's not even a hotel!!! ha ha ha The ha ha J. ha ha W. ha ha Marriott ha ha ha hee hee hee!" The third cab driver asked him "Where to?" His response "I have no idea ask her grumble grumble." My response "The JW Marriott please. (Under my breath) or we could try the C.W. Hilton ha ha ha haaaa!"

Anyhoo, we dined at Roy's of Hawaii Friday night. We had been dreaming of this miso crusted butter fish we had in Hawaii several years ago and they had it on the menu at the San Fran location so off we went. It was just as delightful as I remembered. We started off with a wagu beef and lobster sushi roll, then we had shrimp curry and mango salads and finished with the misoyaki butter fish. The best thing about dinner was at the table next to us Mr. and Mrs. Perfect were having a very awkward anniversary dinner. They had perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect clothes and she had a lot of perfect jewelry. Upon their pineapple martinis arriving, Mr. hands Mrs. a velvet pouch. Now my ears and eyes perked right up because this velvet pouch was robins egg blue and I knew exactly where it had come from. Tiffany's baby! So I'm all excited for Mrs. to see what treasure the pouch held. I held my breath. Mrs. pulls out a big ol' sparkly diamond anniversary band. In the dullest voice possible Mr. says "happy anniversary". Mrs. puts the band on her hand. She looks at it. She has said nothing. All of a sudden she blurts out "It's really sparkly, I don't think it matches." Mr. says "It matches. I made sure it was the one that went with your ring." And then Mrs. goes on and on about how she's not sure and it seems too sparkly and it might be okay. Mr. says nothing during her rambling. Then the oddest thing happens. She stuffs the velvet pouch in her coach clutch bag and they begin eating their appetizers for which she makes yummy noises and gets all excited. And I'm sitting there thinking "she is seriously getting more excited by the lobster dumplings that at least a $7,000 ring! Is she crazy?" And midway through the canoe appetizer platter Mr. goes "maybe it looks different than you thought because your fingers have gotten all fat." And then I got sad for Mr. and Mrs. Perfect. Here they were in one of the greatest restaurants in the world. They had been blessed with amazing looks and obvious wealth and they had each other. But they were miserable! And here I was with my iPhone toting husband, in our military rate hotel room, eating at a place we can only afford every 5 years or so with him making up the names of imaginary hotels and I couldn't love him more or be happier with my life. It was one of those life defining moments that makes you realize to shut your trap and just be in love and grateful. But I'd take the ring from Tiffany's if somebody wanted to give it to me. I'm just saying. It was A LOT of diamonds for pete's sake.

We hopped in our cab and sped to the Orpheum Theatre to see my absolute favorite musical of all time...Wicked. I can't explain to you how much I love this musical. I get emotional when I hand the dude my ticket and I don't stop blubbering until I leave the theatre. Here's the story without giving anything away. The play opens with the celebration in the Emerald City that the Wicked Witch of the West is dead. And then some citizen of Oz yells up to Glinda in her bubble "wasn't she your friend?" And then we go back in time to the origins and childhoods of Glinda the Good Witch of the North and Elphaba the Wicked Witch of the West. It turns out they knew each other in boarding school and the play follows their lives. Many truths we had always assumed about all the characters are turned upside down as the play explores how rumor, politics and circumstances can twist and turn the truth about events and people. Are we born wicked or do we have wickedness thrust upon us? And here's why I feel so emotional about this play. Most people think it's because it's based on The Wizard of Oz which is my favorite movie of all time. But that's only about 2% of why I love this play. Here's the real reason.

There was a time in my life several years ago when some people I loved believed me to be a certain type of person. They believed me to be hateful, mean, dishonest, sneaky, hurtful and that I purposely tried to destroy relationships. It was awful to have people think these things about you. It made me angry and it hurt deep in a place that I had never hurt before. As time went on and I felt exposed, raw and misrepresented to a host of other people, I began to change. I started to become what they thought I was. For the first time in my life, someone I loved was suffering and instead of feeling badly I was glad. I thought they deserved what they got. I had lost my way. I became horribly and totally lost. I did things that still shock me when I remember them. I allowed everything about my life to spiral out of control. My heart was broken and my compassion was gone. I was deeply depressed both situationaly and chemically. I was heavier than I ever had been. I was angry with everyone in my life and my marriage was in crisis. I felt as though everyone in the world hated me and who could blame them? Look what I had become! A monster.

There are moments in this musical that take me back to that time and remind me of exactly how I felt. I like to see this play and listen to the music often because it reminds me that every person in this world has goodness inside of them. It reminds me not to listen to mean gossip about people and that there are two sides to every story. It makes me look at every person in my life differently. For example, there are people that I grew up with thinking were flawed in certain ways. I wonder sometimes what the real story is with that person. What pain am I not aware of or what is the whole truth behind their heart? We have to be so careful how we think and judge others. We must always remember that every person has some measure of goodness inside of them, even if they have lost their way. I know there are murderers and child molesters and people that do horrible things and I'm not really speaking of them. I am more speaking of that girl you knew in high school that you thought was such a bitch. Maybe she's not. Maybe she was really insecure and had a mother who told her worth could be found only in her looks. And that lady at church who is just so hard to like...maybe she is sad and lonely and is protecting her heart by being mean and nasty so no one sees how hurt she is inside. This musical, in an amazingly wonderful way, strips down a story that I grew up loving above all others and reminds me that people are complex and we all have it inside of us to be both wicked and good. It is just my favorite story in the world and the music is wonderful.

After I sobbed my eyes out and picked through fries and a cherry diet Coke with Mike and his chocolate malt at a 50's style diner near our hotel, we stumbled back to our room feeling drunk on food and Broadway and salty fries and chocolate but mostly, we were drunk on FREEDOM. We were out in an actual big city, past midnight! We put on fluffy bathrobes, jumped up and down on the bed like...well - five year olds. Then we thought about our adorable five year olds at home that weren't with us. And then we fell on the bed in evil diabolical laughter that we were freeeeeeeeee! ha haaaaaaaaa...suck it losers!!!! And then we felt badly for about two seconds and promised to buy our angel baby girls something sparkly in the morning before we left town.

The morning greeted us unlike 99% of mornings in San Francisco. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Not a single cloud. And a gentle cool breeze made your hair flutter but didn't whip it around so it lashed at your face. It was a perfectly glorious day. We headed to the ferry building where they hold a Saturday farmers market and perused the food stalls for gourmet treats. Mike even went without his beloved breakfast foods so he could be ready to sample all that was offered. Luckily he found a gourmet ham, egg and cheese sandwich at the gourmet meat shop and fresh squeezed blood orange juice iced down perfectly at the Farmers market so he was in Heaven! After walking around for a long while, we found ourselves waiting on line for a table at Ferry Island Seafood. We snagged an outdoor table right on the water where we promptly ordered our standard San Francisco treats to share: dungeness crab louie, big bowl of clam chowder and a grilled artichoke with garlic aioli. We had our books and we sat and basked in the sun and deliciousness and freedom. We wanted to read but kept on talking and talking to each other. It's amazing how much talking we did! You would think after almost 18 years of marriage we would be pretty much talked out. But no. We just couldn't shut up. It was wonderful.

We wandered aimlessly for about an hour. We found the sparkly gifts we had been thinking of for the girls. Swavorski crystals on a necklace of ribbon. Hot pink for Katie and sky blue for Jessica. We took pictures and allowed the sun to begin to crisp our faces. We hopped in a cab. Mike was appropriately silent as I gave the instructions to the driver. We picked up our stowed luggage and car and headed slowly out of the city.

Mom and Dad gave us an extra surprise by announcing that we did not need to rush over and pick up the girls Saturday night but could pick them up Sunday morning after breakfast and before church. We did not wait on the phone for them to change their minds. We said "thankyouveryverymuch" and promptly hung up. I got to do grocery shopping for the next two days festivities and got to bed early.

After attending church at the Marshallese branch on Sunday we had Mike's mom and dad over for Sunday dinner. Inspired by our trip, we dined al fresco on steak, shrimp, grilled corn, grilled potatoes and a simple but delicious salad of tomatoes and cucumbers. Berries, home made angel food cake and ice cream sundaes were the dessert selections and were enjoyed as the last of the days light slipped away.

Again, inspired by our trip, we invited my parents and both of my grandmas over on Monday for my attempt to recreate the miso glazed butter fish that we had dined on Friday night at Roy's. I got the recipe from a website long ago, but have never had the courage to attempt making it myself. The ingredient list is odd and intimidating in the number of items that go into the dish. I wasn't sure I could pull it off. Thanks to my sous chef Dad and my line cooks Mike and Mom, it was an enormous success. The plates were beautiful and the dish was a very very close replica of the dish we had in the restaurant. I served it with steamed calrose rice and spinach sauteed with apples, pine nuts, golden raisins and shallots. We had my Grandma's sour cream lemon pie (heaven) and berries with honeyed Greek yogurt for dessert. I was thrilled and shocked that I had recreated this dish. And now that I've done it once, it will be much less intimidating to try again.

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend full of time spent reconnecting with those that I love. All of these people rallied around me while I was down and out with the recent iron infusions I underwent. I wanted to cook for them to show them I am thankful for them and that I love them. And for Mike, I wanted to reconnect with my best friend and let him know I was so grateful he held us all together when I could not. He worked his butt off to keep all of our balls in the air over the past month. He is too good to me. Even if he is directionally and hotel name challenged, I couldn't be luckier in the person I share my life with.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Mother, My Mentor, My Friend - My First Interview of the new Getting To Know You Series

Beginning TODAY, I am turning the tables on my family and friends. Periodically, I will be posting interviews that I have conducted with various individuals important to me in my life. And given that my Mother's Day post was nonexistent because my Mother's Day was THAT bad, I thought the best person I could think of to start with is my Mom.

Now my Mom may or may not read this blog. She won't admit it to me directly but she seems to know stuff before I have the chance to tell her. She was surprisingly very candid and happy to be interviewed. My Mom is private, thoughtful and introspective. Just like me. Ha! Sometimes I don't think it's possible for a mother and daughter to be more different but then just when I think that, I find myself doing or saying something exactly like her. So without further adieu... here is the interview I did with my Mom.
Me: Hi Mom. What are you doing?
Mom: Trying to figure out this paperwork.
Me: You know my blog?
Mom: yeah
Me: Well, I want to interview you for it. I'm going to interview people cool huh? Can I interview you?
Mom: Sure!
Me: Really?
Mom: Sure! Yeah...go ahead!
Me: Oh okay, okay, let's start with this. Are you glad to talk to me on my blog?
Mom: Oh Sure.
Me: What do you think people would want to know about the mother of Amy Meeker?
Mom: How she [the mother] survived!
Me: Good one Mom! You mean how you survived?
Mom: Yep
Me: What do you think people that know you would be surprised about you?
Mom: That I hoard socks. I can't ever throw them away.
Me: Ha ha...even the ones that you can't wear because they have seams?
Mom: Yep, I can't throw them away.
Me: Who is your favorite person in the whole world?
Mom: Jessica and Katie. They are tied for first place.
Me: Why didn't you say me?
Mom: Because they make my heart sing and don't criticize me.
Me: When I was in junior high/high school and I used to steal your clothes and wear them were you really mad or just trying to teach me a good lesson?
Mom: Both. I was trying to teach you a lesson about respecting other people's property because you weren't very good at that and I was mad because you stained them.
Me: Do you think I wasn't good at respecting other people's property because I was an only child and I never had to share?
Mom: No, absolutely not. I just think you weren't good at it.
Me: I think it was because I didn't have a sibling to borrow stuff from.
Mom: I don't think so.
Me: When you were a Mom and I was 5 and starting kindergarten,what were your hopes for me for when I was a Mom and my kids were getting ready to start kindergarten?
Mom: That you would become a good reader. That's why I read to you a lot. I hoped you would stay sweet because you were really sweet. That you would learn to speak more quietly because I couldn't figure out how to teach you that. (laughing) But reading was the most important.
Me: Do you think I'm a good reader?
Mom: Yes, I think you are a very good reader.
Me: What's your favorite movie of all time?
Mom: Casablanca
Me: Why?
Mom: It's just such a great story. I laugh and cry no matter how many times I've seen it.
Me: Would you have gone with Humphrey Bogart at the end?
Mom: Oh yes. For sure.
Me: What is something that you hate doing in your every day life?
Mom: Combing my hair. I hate combing my hair.
Me: Do you like your son in law?
Mom: Yes. I love him.
Me: Why?
Mom: Because he’s a decent person, a good man, he understands commitment, doing a good job and he puts up with you and I really don’t want you back. (Laughs again)
Me: Do you like me better than Mike?
Mom: Yes of course. You are mine.
Me: Since your mother is 90, has Alzheimer's and has no chance of ever reading this blog, I'd like to ask you some questions about what it's like to be a primary care giver to a parent. I have some friends and people who have mentioned they read this blog that are getting ready to begin that phase of life and I think they would be interested in what it is like to be a care giver to a parent.
Mom: Well, it’s a pleasure, it’s a heartache, it’s hard work, it’s emotional. It is something that I don’t take lightly. I made a commitment to my Dad to take care of my Mom and it is something I take seriously. More times than not it is a pleasure. I feel lucky.
Me: What have you found to be the biggest challenge?
Mom: To be patient and understanding and realize that she is changing so rapidly. Her mind is getting worse and she’s getting worse quickly.
Me: What is the greatest joy about being Grammie's care giver?
Mom: The time I get to spend with her. That I can do things she did for us. She was a good Mom and I can do those things for her.
Me: What advice would you give someone who is getting ready to take on this role? What do you wish someone would have told you or what do you wish you would have known?
Mom: I wish I would have paid more attention and learned more about the aging process. Because if I had I would have been more patient. Sometimes I wasn't patient with Papa and I wish I would have known more and been more patient. The whole thing is, it is a joy. When I can make her life a little bit easier I feel good about it.
Me: What can extended family members like me, Mike, your sisters and Grammie's other grandchildren do to help you in your role as the primary person? Do you think it should be a whole family effort or do you think it works best when there's one person as the primary caregiver?
Mom: I think every person can take an interest in what's going on and what is being done. People can help out when they are available. My two sisters live far away and they always help when they can. Family members and friends should try and contact the older person as much as they are able. The older person lives for the phone calls and visits and they mean a lot to them. Share your family successes and happy news and don't share your troubles and problems. Their minds can't take it anymore. Remind them of happy times they can remember. It cheers them up a lot. If you can call or visit them on a regular schedule (like once per week) so that they get used to looking forward to the call or visit coming at the same time. That sort of consistency is important to them. They really enjoy the contact. I don't think people can call or visit an older person too much, because they forget so much of what has just happened.
Me: Do you think that is universal for all old people?
Mom: Absolutely. I see a whole bunch of people just like Grandma at the Meadows. (Grammie's assisted living community) They all are just looking forward to the next visit or phone call from their family members. I'm really lucky I have a couple of sisters who really understand and call her everyday or often times even more than once per day.
Me: I think that's really good advice. I think it can really help people. I have been surprised about email that I get or when I run into people and they mention this blog. You'd be surprised that you just probably helped somebody think about or pick up the phone and call their Grandma or have more patience with their mother. Okay moving on. Who is the best band of all time?
Mom: The best band?
Me: Yeah, band.
Mom: Journey. Probably Journey. Followed by Chicago and Styx.
Me: What is your biggest vice or bad habit?
Mom: That I waste time in the mornings. I should be more rushy.
Me: Because you are playing computer backgammon against the Russians?
Mom: No, not because I am playing computer backgammon against a Russian. I just waste too much time. Like I think about all this stuff I have to do and before I know it the morning is gone. Me: But isn't that a perk of being retired? That you don't have to rush anymore?
Mom: Well yeah, but you can really over do it. You can take retirement over the top and to new heights and sometimes I take it over the top. (laughing)
Me: Do you have plans to quit and start rushing?
Mom: No. (ha ha)
Me: Okay, thanks Mom. Is there anything else you'd like us to know or that you'd like to say on my blog.
Mom: No. Oh yeah there is. I don't like how you sometimes say words like "crap" and words that make it look like you don't have use of expanded grammar.
Me: You mean like bad words?
Mom: No, just stupid words. You use them too much. And you over share.
Me: But Mom, sometimes crap is the only word that describes my day. Sometimes certain words just fit into how I'm feeling.
Mom: Oh!!! And you talk too much about yourself. I think they call it narcissistic or something. You always write about yourself and not enough about other stuff.
Me: (laughing) Like what should I write about?
Mom: Like when you read a good book or do something with the girls you should talk more about the book instead of yourself and how you don't read this in June but you read that in September.
Me: (laughing harder) Do you read any other blogs?
Mom: No
Me: Do you see in my profile where I admit that I am narcissistic and bored and too engrossed in myself and that's why I even have a blog.
Mom: Yes I've seen that.
Me: Did you know I like talking about myself so much?
Mom: You sure do. (whew...with an exhausted voice)
Me: Well thanks Mom. I think this was a good first interview.
Mom: Oh one more thing.
Me: Yes?
Mom: On May 26th I will have been sober for 20 years.
Me: Really?
Mom: Yes, 20 years.
Me: And you quit cold turkey?
Mom: I haven't touched a drink in 20 years.
Me: Do you miss it?
Mom: Not a bit.
Me: That's really awesome.
Mom: May 26th. Twenty years.
Me: Hmmmm....that's about the same time I graduated from high school and was on my way out of the house.
Mom: Yep, my stress went away. (laughing) No you didn't have a thing to do with it.
Me: Well, good job. Lot's of people have tried to quit something they are addicted to and very few succeed over the long run. That's pretty awesome.
Mom: Thanks.
Me: Okay, bye.
Mom: Bye.

If you know my Mom, you are probably as surprised as me about how candid and open she was. It was awesome! In keeping with the narcissistic nature of my blog, I think it was my superior interviewing skills. I really think I could replace Oprah. Just joking. Thanks Mom for talking to me today. Sorry I called you ten other times and forced you and Dad to meet me and the girls and Grammie Bea for Thai food and that I chose all the dishes we ordered. It was soooo good though. I'll do a review of the restaurant on my food blog and will try to talk about the food and the place instead of me okay?

Last Night At Target

It's been like two months since I've done any shopping at all. We were out of everything. $500 later at Target, the girls had HAD IT. They were bored and wanted a million toys and I was tired of fighting them and saying no. It was one of those moments you know?

So pretty soon I see Katie crying. And I'm all "now what?" And she goes "Jessica wants to play the game where we smell each other's feet and then taste them. And I just don't feeeeeel like tasting feeeeet".

Tasting feet? Really Jessica?

Just when you think they are smart, you find out they are foot tasters.