Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Merci'

My favorite holiday of the year is Easter. I love the whole idea of resurrection coinciding with Spring and renewal and things blooming. I love all the colors of Easter, pastels all mixed together. I love Easter dresses and hats and the idea of Spring cleaning, although I never do it the way I would like. I love Easter dinner, hosting it, serving coconut cake for dessert and everything being white and pink and apple blossom green and lavender. Easter is the best. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. My Mom always would say "thanksgiving is just a meal". When Mike and I moved away, Thanksgiving was always the holiday we didn't come home for. We wanted to save our vacation time for Christmas and all of us, Mike, my parents and I, were working full time so nobody got enough vacation time at Thanksgiving to travel all the way across the country. I was always grateful to my Mom for telling me not to worry and that "Thanksgiving is just a meal". It made me feel better about not being home. So the first year we had the girls, we were in Nebraska, it was snowing and we weren't going home. I told Mike, "Thanksgiving is no big deal. It's just a meal. So this year, I'm going to make fajitas instead of going through all the trouble." Mike, ever happy to just have food prepared for him, thought it was great. The girls were seven months old so they were not aware of the lack of turkey. I made awesome fajitas. And I couldn't eat them because I was crying so hard. We were all alone, it was Thanksgiving and instead of smelling celery, onion and bay leaf, my kitchen was filled with the smell of sauteed peppers and marinated beef. It was so depressing.

It was that year, as I put all of the salsa and guacamole in tupperware and went to bed with a crying headache that I realized that I really really really LOVE Thanksgiving. I love the food, the colors, the idea of friends and family gathering around a big table, the smell of pumpkin and spices and even the football. But what I realized that I love the most is that even though I tell myself every year that it is dumb and I am absolutely NOT going to do it this year, at some point I find myself pausing and taking a moment to think about what I am thankful for. I can't help it. It just hits me. It might be while I am peeling potatoes or setting out my clothes or going to bed that night. But inevitably, the nagging thought will come into my head and I will force myself to think of all the way I'm blessed. And dang it, wouldn't you know that doing it makes me feel great inside every single time.

So I decided I'm not going to even try to fight it this year. Instead, I've just gone over to the dark place and embraced all the gratefulness that surrounds me. Everyday, Katie and Jessica ask how many days until Thanksgiving and then they list all the things they are thankful for and I do the same. We've been doing it all month long. This year, Thanksgiving is on steroids. And my heart is just gross with all the mush and gush. It would be so lame not to write down what I am thankful for given that I've been thinking about it all the time. I hate when other mommy bloggers do this, I really do. So in an effort to not gross you out too much and give you a cavity from all the sugar shock, I am going to try and write down what I am ACTUALLY thankful for rather than what I am supposed to be thankful for. Feel free to stop reading at any time. I'm sorry for all the narcissism. Please forgive me.

Amy's Thankful List 2009

  • That new show Modern Family. It is so funny and I really love looking forward to laughing that hard every week.
  • Diet Coke (I don't think I need to elaborate at this point)
  • New Moon and werewolves
  • The fact that the girls don't fall asleep at night but instead giggle, talk loudly, make forts, tickle each other, come out to tell us they need water, bring the mobile into bed with them so they can play it over and over and get into all sorts of mischief. It is a nuisance and I hate it on a daily basis but at my core I am thankful for the memories they are making both for themselves and for Mike and I. It is a magical time in our lives.
  • That we live so close to family.
  • Rubios Gourmet Shrimp Tacos with no habanero citrus salsa on flour tortillas.
  • Jeans
  • Bangs
  • Mike living in our house instead of a B-hut in Afghanistan
  • Sleeping in on Saturdays
  • Target
  • Julia Child's cookbook and Pioneer Woman's cookbook
  • Hearts cut out of paper by little hands that say "I Love Mama" in crayon.
  • Katie and Jessica's teachers
  • Mike's patients that bring us lumpia and stuffed animals for the girls and kind notes and cards.
  • Kozy Shack chocolate pudding. Seriously, have you tasted that stuff?

That's all I can come up with for now. It's all really true. As Jessica would say, it's not a tease, a joke or a lie.

Monday, November 23, 2009

A Love Story - That Takes A Long Time To Tell

What's with me and all the movie related posts lately? Whatever. Anyway, Internet, allow me to introduce you to a little fellow called Lancelot. You might think you know this love story, but I assure you, you do not. Permit me to elaborate and take a moment of your time. You won't be sorry.

So, in 1968 the film version of the Broadway play Camelot came out. It won the Oscar for Best Film. It is my number 2 favorite movie of all time, right behind The Wizard of Oz. My parents took me to see Richard Burton play the role of King Arthur in San Francisco in 1983. It was my first live performance I'd ever seen. Think Pretty Woman at the opera and you will get my 11 year old self sitting there overcome with rapture and joy as I watched the story of Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot unfold. And again, you might think that this is the story on which this post is going to focus. You would be so wrong. Please, for the sake of all that is good and holy, continue.


Vanessa Redgrave played the role of Guinevere in the film opposite Richard Harris as Arthur. A relative unknown Italian actor, Franco Nero, played the role of Lancelot. And let me tell you, he played that role better than maybe anyone has played any role ever in any movie. First of all, he was the most handsome man in the universe. In the opening scene the camera pans up from the ground to the wall of a castle in far off France and he is standing atop the castle as he answers the call of Arthur of England and the idea of the Knights of the Round Table. Might for Right and all that. Lancelot is the ultimate of all leading men of all time. He is noble, committed to a cause, religious and undefeated in any battle. Stud. Muffin. Then, he chucks all of it because he falls in love with the Queen of England and the wife of his best friend, King Arthur. Guinevere. They try to deny their passion but ultimately they admit their love for each other and have a torrid affair. But the affair destroys them. Not only do they hate themselves for betraying Arthur, but they have betrayed the cause of Camelot, which they both believe in with all of their hearts. They get caught. Guinevere is sentenced to burn at the stake. Lancelot is banished. All the knights are taking sides. War breaks out. Arthur loves Lance like a brother and Ginny as his wife and he must carry out her sentence of death. But secretly he prays that Lance will ride in and save her even though he knows it will result in war and the final destruction of Camelot. He loves them more than anything even though they have betrayed and hurt him. Sure enough, Lancelot charges in on his white steed just in time to cut Guinevere down from the stake (they had already lit the fire) and he charges out of Camelot with her on his horse. You might think they would run off to France or Egypt. Anywhere they could be together. But alas, they do not. Their guilt and shame for betraying God, Arthur and Camelot destroy their future. Ginny spends the rest of her days in a convent as a nun. Lancelot goes into battle and will end up dying by the sword years later. It's a sad story, but like Romeo & Juliet or Braveheart, it is wonderfully tragic. The chemistry between Vanessa Redgrave and Franco Nero is electric. They sizzle up the screen unlike any two actors EVER. And up until last year, I thought that was the end of our story. Not even close.

No one heard from Franco Nero ever again. He never did another film and I assumed he faded into Italian television like Lorenzo Lamas or Rick Springfield or that dude from the Dukes of Hazard. Dreamy one day, forgotten the next. Vanessa Redgrave went on to have a great career, appearing in film and television. I have always enjoyed her work, but never as much as her role as Guinevere. Vanessa Redgrave is the mother of Natasha Richardson, the wife of Liam Niesen. You'll remember last year, Natasha Richardson lost her life in a skiing accident. People magazine did a big article on Natasha Richardson's life. There was a picture of the family gathered at the funeral. There in the picture was her mother, Vanessa Redgrave and standing by her side was her husband of forty years. You guessed it. It was Franco Nero. Lancelot. I cried my eyes out. I showed Mike and I couldn't even get out why I was crying so hard. I told him "they ended up together...hiccup...in real life. waaaaaa". I felt strangely like something unsettled in my past got put in exactly the right place. It turns out they fell in love while filming Camelot and the rest as they say...is happily ever after history. And you may be thinking, that is the end of our story. Nope. But we are getting there.

Fast forward to last Friday night. We are waiting for New Moon to start. A preview of a movie called Letters to Juliet came on. Amanda Seyfried, the daughter from Mama Mia is staring in it (I love her) opposite Vanessa Redgrave. It's about a place in Verona, Italy (the town where Romeo and Juliet is set) where people go to this wall and they leave letters to Juliet about love, loss and heartbreak. Amanda Seyfried finds a letter behind a stone in the wall written in 1957 by a woman named Claire all about how she was set to run away with this guy named Lorenzo but she didn't show up and she left him there wondering and how she tried to find him later on but couldn't. Amanda's character sets out to find Claire. She finds her in England where she is a widow but has loved Lorenzo her whole life. She (Amanda Seyfried), Claire (Vanessa Redgrave) and Claire's grandson set out for a small town in Italy to find Lorenzo. As I watched the preview I sort of found myself unable to breathe. My heart kept speeding up and I was gripping my seat. Finally, they find Lorenzo. He comes around the bend in the Italian countryside, in a vineyard, riding a white horse. He is an old man and is weathered and wrinkled. It is Franco Nero. And he is riding toward Vanessa Redgrave. Mike said he turned his head to sip his coke at the exact moment that I put all of it together and he said I gasped super loudly and just burst into tears. You guys I was like hysterically crying. Mike squeezed my hand and all I could say is "it's him!!!" And I couldn't stop crying until five minutes into New Moon. And I've been crying every time I've thought about it since. And that my friends, is the point of this post.

I know it makes no sense. But my entire childhood and adult life I have wished that Camelot could have ended differently and that Guinevere and Lancelot could have ridden off into the sunset together. I've watched it like over 50 times and each time I hope that maybe it'll end differently. And then I found out that in a very real way, it DID end differently because the two actors that set the screen on fire with their passion were really and truly in love and ended up together and have been together for 40 years. And now to get the gift of getting to see them reunite on-screen, knowing he hasn't made a film since he made one with her and that the chance to work with her again has brought him out of retirement and that they are all old and wrinkled but still so in love...it's just too much happiness for my heart to hold. I think it's the very best kind of love story.

I know it's dumb. But if you go out and rent Camelot, you will TOTALLY get it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

New Swoon...

I am, or most definitely should be, arrested. I should be locked up. I should register on the sex offender list in all 50 states. I lusted after a child. A child. I got giggly. I even let out a very loud woop woop and pumped my arm in excitement in the middle of a darkened theater. Did you hear me? I PUMPED my arm. I YELLED woop. Then another woop. I giggled (cackled more like) every time Jacob came on the screen. And given he had no shirt on for the entire movie, I found myself sad during the one scene in which he wore clothes. He is 17. That means, had Mike Meeker and I procreated on our honeymoon I could be.... Oh I can't even say it. His. Mother. He could walk into my house and say "hey there. MOM." And I'm quite positive I would not be allowed to want to run full speed into him, jump onto him and make out with him for like five hours. I am going to hell. And jail. And all the bad places people like me should go. It was so good. So. So. Good.

So me and Mike Meeker went on Friday night while the girls had a sleep over at Grandma and Grandpa's. We stood on line for two hours with this lady that would not shut up about this girl in her Bible study and how she was such a bleepity bleep bleep bleep. And how at church she totally bleeping bleep bleeped. And I kept thinking, DANG LADY. Is there anything about Bible study and church and all the cussing around all the twi-tweens that doesn't go together? Shut the bleep up and Jesus loves you, is basically what I wanted to say. We purposely sat in front of a row of ten year old girls, all clad in New Moon tshirts and necklaces and they took pictures every five seconds. We giggled and jumped up and down in our seats waiting for it to start. Now, you might think I was the only one in our party of two that was giggling and jumping up and down. Not so. Mike Meeker is just as big of a twilight fan as his wife. He has read all the books. More than once. He loves Edward. As in LURVES HIM. As in, he secretly thinks he is Edward but is willing to admit he might be a cross between Edward and Jasper and he was so excited for the Volturi scene and to see how they did the wolves he couldn't form coherent sentences on the way to the theater. He saw a bumper sticker that says "I drive like a Cullen" and he really really wants to get it. He is firmly encamped in Team Edward. I however, have always been in Team Jacob and now that I saw this movie, I will be a supporter of Team Jacob FOREVER. I would so pick Jacob. The ONLY advantage to Edward is his money.

We are adult enough to admit that the Twilight movie was very bad. But New Moon was awesome. We loved it. Okay so the part where Edward and Bella are running in slow motion through the forest as Vampires in clothing from 1918 was a little stupid. But everything else was so awesome. We cheered right along with the gaggle of girls behind us. (and the rest of the theater) We stayed up like two eighth graders until 2 am talking all about the movie and the books and all things Twilight. I told Mike we had to go to bed and that he was going to start his period ANY DAY. Seriously, if he doesn't stop he might have to get some tampax to keep in his car just in case.

And as for me. I'll just be in jail, sitting in my cell with a secret little smile on my face thinking all sorts of wicked thoughts about a 17 year old. But I hear he turns 18 in 82 days. And yes, I heard that because I went to a fan website. And yes. I am aware I am in a very scary place mentally and emotionally. Please tell my daughters I always loved them. I just loved the werewolf a little bit more.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Follow The Yellow Brick Road...

This might be the most important post I ever write. The girls and I watched The Wizard of Oz last night. Oh yes we did. For those of you that love me (Auntie Lori) you understand why I am tearing up as I even type the words. For those of you that don't, let me take a moment to explain.

The Wizard of Oz. Oh The wonderful Wizard of Oz. It has been my favorite movie since I was like a fetus. I would wait until April of every year for it to come on television. There was no pause button, no On Demand gizmo, no rewind if I missed something. There was no VCR/DVD/Blue Ray nonsense. You could not download it on your iphone. You waited. You checked the actual TV Guide. The one made of paper. You got your blanket ready. You got your popcorn popped. You got up and changed the channel. Manually. You waited. Then that MGM Lion would roar and the black and white credits would start rolling and you knew you were in the presence of magic. I swear fairies shot straight out of my television. My hands would pour sweat and I would watch and hang on every single solitary word. As I grew, the meaning of The Wizard of Oz grew as well. It was no longer a movie with a colorful cast of characters and the scariest movie villianess of all time. It was chock full of life lessons that I dreamed of teaching to my children someday.

So last night, the journey down my own personal yellow brick road reached another milestone along the way to wherever I am going. I sat on my couch with my two little girls. I sat in the middle so my arms would be able to hold each of them during the scary parts. Six hands ooozed so much sweat that we needed to get a dish towel. We had blankets. We had popcorn. We had a flat screen. We had high definition, pause, rewind, fast forward, slow motion and closed caption if we wanted it. And you know what? Magical fairies still flew out of the television. The same ones that flew out and visited me in 1976. How did they know how to find me?

Needless to say the girls loved it. Jessica cried so hard at the end when Dorothy had to say goodbye to her friends in Oz and refused to believe that the farmhands were her friends from Oz. She had me hold her forever and she just had to call her Daddy and Grammie to tell them she was so so so sad. I asked her if she wishes that she didn't watch it and she said "well mama, I will watch it again tomorrow and see if I wish I didn't watch it." Katie just plain loved it. She has been dancing around and singing "ding dong the witch is dead", or "because of the wonderful things he does". It was simply magical. Jessica's favorite person is the tin man, the sentimental, gentle soul. It's not surprising. Katie's favorite is the scarecrow. The class clown of the group. Again, not a big surprise. It's funny, as a little girl, all I ever wanted to be was Dorothy Gail from Kansas. I wanted those sparkly shoes and that little dog in the basket. I identified with her fear and her desire to explore the world. Later on, much later on, I also came to learn that you can only truly find your heart's desire within yourself, your home and your family. There's nothing out there in that great big world that answers some big mystery or provides some holy grail. It is as mythical as Oz itself. Home, God, family, love and self. It's what it is truly about. Finding happiness within. What a life lesson to learn. I think it's harder to learn for girls. We are bombarded with Victoria Secret Angels, and Angelina Joile's lips and perfection everywhere. To really understand that your worth comes from being a daughter of God, from having integrity, from being real was a tough one for me. I hope it isn't so for my little tin man and scarecrow. I hope I can help them know this earlier than I did.

So I guess that's all I have to say about it. I leave you with this quote from the Wizard. It was at this point in the movie that Jessica and Katie joined me in crying and we all sat there and sniffled as we realized Dorothy would have to say good-bye to her wonderful friends. As the Wizard gives the heart to the tin man he says..."and now remember this my sentimental friend. A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." Today my heart is full and overflowing. Hope yours is too!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Do You Believe?

Over at my favorite blog Nat The Fat Rat, Natalie challenged all of her readers to examine what they believe. Please don't go read her blog though because it's so cute and witty you'll never come back here. Stop it. Don't you click that link. Whatever, you suck.

So I really dug down deep today to examine what I truly believe. Not as in what I am supposed to believe or what I should believe but what do I really, deep in my gut, down to my tippy toes, really, truly, madly believe in? The following is what I came up with. (Please keep in mind that my monthly visitor Veejay Singh will be making an appearance any day so this list was made while highly emotional. Yeah, so I call my period Veejay Singh, isn't that cute? I have my reasons that I will explain to you if you want to know, just email me. I can't post it.) Okay, here's what I truly deeply honestly most sincerely believe:
  • I believe in parenthood. This may surprise you that this is first on my list. But the way I have changed inside since becoming a parent is so monumental that I can't even talk about it sometimes. And same with Mike. We were laying in bed on Saturday morning listening to the strains of Imagination Movers on Disney Channel and we agreed that it is so cool that we each feel exactly the same about our kids that we don't seem crazy obsessed to each other. Because let me tell you, if regular people knew how much me and Mike Meeker talk about our kids and spy on them and listen to them when they don't know and how many times we go in their room while they are sleeping and just sit on the floor and stare at their little sleeping forms by the light of the silvery moon, we would be locked in a padded room. FOR. SURE. We are stalkers. We stalk the lives of Katie and Jessica. And we love it.
  • I believe in the healing power of Diet Coke. The other night, I was in my zone, cooking up a fabulous dinner for me, Mike Meeker, K, J and my parents. I got a little tired, a little winded and I chugged a Diet Coke straight out of the fridge. It was frosty. It was COLD. It was so good. And I instantly felt better. When I am on a road trip and I think, crap the desert will never end, or this road is so BORING, if I stop at a gas station and fill myself up with a 44 ouncer with extra extra crunchy type ice, I turn into a driving machine! I love Diet Coke. It has been there for me through many many many rough times. Whether it is over ice, straight out of the can, adorned with a cherry or lime or warm, flat and on my night stand, I just love it. I even love the can. Silver, black, red...obviously the three best colors ever. Look in my closet and you will understand.
  • I believe in low maintenance friends. You know those friends that are all clingy and needy and are all "don't like that girl cuz she was so rude to me" or "why haven't you called me back?" or "do I look fat?" or "waaaa waaaa waaaa!"??? Those chicks don't really work for me. Look sister, if I wanted a girlfriend, I'd become a lesbian. I want a friend. Here's what they look like so you can snag some for yourself. They are in your life for good, no matter what. No matter if they haven't talked to you for six months or a year because you can't get your crap together. They know the real you, the quirks and the stuff you suck at and they love you anyway. They call you on your crap and when you hurt them they let you know. Then, after you say sorry, they forgive you. And they don't hold a grudge. They would get on a plane in the middle of the night if you needed them. And you would get on a plane in the middle of the night if they needed you. But you know that unless a child or husband dies, you won't have to pay that much for a plane ticket. They aren't superduper skinny. When you see them, no matter how long it's been, you are so happy and at some point in time during the visit at least once you will do the following: laugh so hard you can't speak and you clutch your stomach and you will cry your eyes out.
  • I believe that Jesus is my Savior and is the Savior of the world. I really do you guys. I believe He truly lived. I believe He taught people to be kinder and more loving. I believe He taught us to fight our natural tendency to be jealous, petty, judgemental and intolerant. He spent most of His time with people that were cast out from normal society and were considered immoral and bad. He loved them and taught them His gospel of love, peace and hope. I believe that this stuff really truly happened. I don't believe it's a fairytale or some story that Christians made up. I believe He suffered and died for all of our sins and I believe He rose from the dead and came back to teach people more about what is truly important. I believe He did this willingly because He loves us. I believe that we can get through anything in life if we turn to Him and allow the miracle of His atonement to truly work in our lives. I believe this 100%. There's a poem that Carol Lerwill, the kindest of ladies, gave to me when I was 18 and I carry to this day inside my scriptures. When I feel overwhelmed and unsure I turn to it. It says, "I know only as much of the world and God, as a creature with two eyes must. What I understand I love and what I don't understand, I trust." I am far from a perfect Christian. I struggle daily make my life reflect what I believe. But it doesn't mean at the end of the day that I don't believe it. Know what I mean jelly bean?
  • I believe in shopping online for children's clothes: I took K&J shopping for clothes on Saturday night. LUCKILY, my Mom came with us. She ended up pushing them in a cart to the toy aisle or around and around the store while I shopped for their clothes. I THOUGHT that they were getting older so maybe they could come in a dressing room and try some stuff on. I was buying clothes for fall/winter and didn't quite know what length they needed in pants, how much of a waist they might have and what size of shoes would be perfect for shoes to be worn with tights vs. shoes to be worn with socks. I envisioned a fun, multi-generational girls night of shopping. Giggling in the dressing room, oo's and ah's when something was just too too cute to pass up. It didn't happen. The girls hated it. I hated it. I still ended up coming home with clothes that don't fit them and they did not see the inside of a dressing room. It was horrible. I have so much more fun and I get way better deals when I just stick to shopping online after they go to bed.
  • I believe in straight leg jeans. All this skinny leg, boot cut, flare crap is just too much. Straight leg jeans look good on everyone. You might think you look good in flare jeans but unless you are a size 2, you don't. Skinny leg jeans look good on a lot of people as long as for every 10 pounds you weigh over super model size you add one inch of shirt length and add one size to your jeans. Do not squeeze into skinny jeans if your size comes in more than one digit. And the chubbier you are the darker the denim you must wear in all cuts. But to be safe, everyone from size 0 (I know no one at this size) to size whatever (I know a lot of people at this size) just get dark denim, straight leg jeans. And unless you are positive that you have a fabulous butt, cover it a little. It can't hurt to be sure.
  • I believe in eating quality food: This does not mean healthy food. It means quality. We only have so many meals to consume in life. Let's enjoy them. Let's eat artfully prepared, flavorful, creative, fun dishes. Let's experience cuisine from every corner of the globe. Let's linger over our meals with good conversation, sipping our Diet Cokes and laughing. Let's talk about our day, both the good parts and the bad over a great salad and fabulous plate of pasta. Let's put down the fast food cardboard that we eat in our cars while trying to get everything done. Let's slow down, dine on white plates, sample vegetables and fruit in every color of the rainbow, sink our teeth into something prepared with love whether it is curry beef from your favorite Thai place or your Mom's meatloaf. And if while we are enjoying our food if we could try and eat smaller portions and make it healthy...all the better. But that's not necessarily what I truly believe in. But I do truly, deep down in my heart believe that crappy food is such a waste. When I eat something in my car on the go and I don't taste it and am glad I didn't because it was in all honesty crap on a cracker, I am so sad because I should have stopped at the grocery store, bought a perfect piece of fruit and some fabulous cheese and I would have been so much happier.
  • I believe football is a problem in my marriage. When I married Mike, he knew not of football. He was raised in a household where the Dad did not like football. The family did not watch television on Sundays. It was not allowed. When we got married, I was a football FAN. I loved the San Francisco 49ers and the Stanford Cardinals. They were my boys. I knew A LOT about football. I could name the players, the coaches, the mascots and I could tell you how everyone was doing most of the season. I thought this made me extra cute to boys. I was the cool football girl. I was giving off the signal that if you dated me you wouldn't have to worry about being dragged to some chick flick and having to examine our relationship all night long. We could catch a game, maybe even eat some nachos. But alas, my new husband Mike Meeker did not care. He was a baseball fan. "Come", I said to him, "give football a try." He began to watch. He watched some more. Mikey likey. Fast forward 17 years. Mike records HOURS of college ball on Saturday, NFL on Sunday, sports center, college game day final and all the other analyzing type Chris The Devil Berman shows and it has become the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. I hate football now. I don't want to watch it or hear about it or know about it. I get itchy when football season approaches. (Except for Troy Polamalu because how can you not? The guy is an animal) And Mike reminds me every year that I can not say anything to him about his love of football because I made him watch it and it's all my fault that I created a monster. I gave unto my husband football and he did watch. I hate it when that happens.
  • I believe in bed time. I used to be a night owl. I have been known in college to frequent the Denny's at three. In the morning. Oh yeah, I was a bad ass. Now, if it is past my kids' bedtime and they are not in bed I get this panic, heart palpation feeling inside. Bedtime must be observed. Because if their bedtime gets pushed back, guess what? That's right. My bed time gets pushed back and that is where the real sweaty armpits and panic attacks start happening. Because, and they don't tell you this before you have a kid, no matter what time you put the little suckers to bed, they will get up at exactly the same time in the morning. Yep. Just because you let them stay up, it does not translate into them sleeping in. Apparently, when you are 4 and you open your eyes in the morning you think the world is bright and full of fun and possibility so you just pop out of bed all happy and ready to take on the day. When do they get to the age where they wake up like a normal person and realize if I hit the snooze button and get an extra 20 minutes of sleep that it will probably be the best 20 minutes of my day?

I believe in a lot of other things too. I gotta go watch Dancing With The Stars in like two minutes because Derek Hough and Maxim Smirkovski are hawt.

Thank you and goodnight.

P to the S: Donny Osmond? Who knew?

Friday, November 6, 2009

Friday Friends and Family

Every Friday from now on, I am going to introduce you to some people we like. It might be friends, it might be family, it might even be you. It might even be someone we don't know but who we just really really like.

Today, I'd like to introduce Katie and Jessica's very own super hero, their cousin Cayden Meeker. Cayden is one year to the day older than the girls. When the girls were little, like babies, Cayden came to visit and entertained them for an hour by just jumping off of a stool in front of their high chairs. They would laugh hysterically and then he'd do it again. Lather, Rinse Repeat.


Whatever Cayden does, thinks, eats or drinks - you can bet my daughters will want to do, think, eat and drink it. We have had to have teriyaki chicken pineapple meatballs once/week since we visited Cayden in October because "Did you know Mama that this is CAYDEN'S favorite dinner?"


I love Cayden because he has this best heart. He is kind and loving and good. This past visit a few weeks ago found him surrounded by five girls (Jessica, Katie, Sariah, Chloe and his little sister Emma), three Moms (me, Amber and Faith), one Grandma (Marilyn) and a little baby girl (his sister Gracie). He was the lone male in a sea of females. He endured it with kindness and even managed to look like he enjoyed it. He was a good sport, agreeing to play the part of the prince to the girls' princesses or the monster to their squeals of delight. One morning it was just me and Cayden in the kitchen and he requested some toast. I made his my very best toast, slathered with butter, cinnamon and sugar. We chatted away about life and such. He told me that I made the best toast he'd ever had and could he please have another piece. We chatted some more and I was reminded of what I have known since he was a baby...this kid is pretty special and he's going to do amazing things in his life.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Amy's Parenting...Judge Away...Come On I Dare Ya

Let's describe this little ensemble shall we? Starting from the bottom, leopard print slippers on the wrong feet. A dead unicorn costume on the floor. Moving up we have last year's Christmas pajama nightgown that is a print of gigantic pieces of candy. A jaunty orange apron from Home Depot compliments the ratty nightgown. Atop the rats nest of hair is a straw cowboy hat and pink butterfly sunglasses with pink lenses.

Katie: "Mama, what do you think of my outfit?"
Me: "Ummmmmm..."
Katie: "Do you think I look like a beautiful princess?"
Me: "Sure?" (If you were from the land of carpenters and hobos)
Katie: "I think I should wear this to school so all the kids can see my interesting and beautiful outfit."
Me: "Ummmmm, maybe we could take a picture because it lasts way longer than just one day at school." (translation: there is no way in hell you are wearing that to school chica)
Katie: "Great idea Mom! A picture is super and I can give it to my friends and maybe they can find outfits like this one and we can get dressed up in them and have a TEA PARTY!!!"
Me: "Sure, super idea." (My kid is going to get the crap beat out of her on the playground. Maybe not today. Maybe not at 4. But the beating is coming people, the beating is coming.)

In summation, I wish this conversation and outfit was an odd occurrence at our house. But it's like this all day everyday. One day she came out with eleven different bows in her hair, high heels with knee high plaid socks. She is so weird.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Hermits

I am on day six of not leaving the house. Well that's a lie. I left the house on Saturday night for 20 minutes. Just enough time for my swine flu filled kids to throw on a french poodle and kitty costume and ring the doorbell of their Grammie and Papa, carefully receive two kinds of every candy in the bowl without transferring germies, swing my Grandma and Grandpa's but not get out of the car as to not transfer germies and head home. That has been my only outing in six days. I have been caring for the sick and afflicted which after all is what Jesus told us to do in the first place so I keep telling myself to cut myself a break but I can't help but feel like a total slacker/loser/anti-social/nerd/hermit. All I seem to get done is tickle backs, and legs and rub heads and get sippie cups of juice/water, watch every princess movie ever made, administer the ever controversial tamiflu (anti-viral medication to kill the swine) and stick the Braun Thermoscan into the ears of my housemates. I feel like I have two infants again because they are sleeping with me and making all sorts of noises in the night from cries to strange laughter and talking about unicorns. (I think this is from fever) I have discovered that this sort of vigil keeping, Florence Nightingale work exhausts my mind and body. You wouldn't think it would be that hard. Case in point, I didn't have to get dressed. I didn't brush my hair or put on makeup. So what's with all the tired? I think it's stress from wondering how the swine flu coming to my house might or might not change our lives forever. After all, that's what they are saying about this bug. You just never know how each person will respond to this flu. So I have been on high alert (aka super neurotic) looking for signs of breathing problems and monitoring the fevers degree by degree. Is that cough getting lower in her chest? Do I hear a rattle? Her fever is 104 for the love of all that is good and holy, call an ambulance! These are the things I have been randomly yelling to Mike from our master bedroom where he is sleeping on the couch trying to survive not the swine flu, but me. No, he says, the cough is in her throat and is just post nasal drip, no you don't hear a rattle and if anyone needs an ambulance around here it's going to be me because my ears are squirting blood because they just can't listen to you anymore. These are the things he says to me. I think he can take that Hippocratic oath and just throw it out the door right now because I am pretty sure part of it goes "and I swear to validate my wife when she is freaking out because our kids have the swine flu and she just won't shut up".

So here are the facts of the case and they are undisputed. (name that movie) Katie got the H1N1 and started to show symptoms Tuesday morning. I took her to the doctor, they tested her with a nasal swab and it came back positive for H1N1. We got her on the antiviral medication right away. She had no fever as of Friday morning and has been her spunky funny self since. Mike and I already had this virus this summer so we got sort of low grade fevers but never truly got super sick. It was more like when your body is trying to fight something off. Stinging/burning eyes, tired and minor aches and pains. Jessica spiked a fever on Thursday. She had a deeper cough than Katie had so I was more worried about her. But we got her on the antivirals right away and she hasn't had a fever since Saturday afternoon. But just to be safe, I decided to not let them go back to school until Wednesday of this week. I want the other Moms in our class to know I take the safety of their kids seriously and wanted to give us four days of no fevers before they head back to school. I would want the other moms to do the same thing, know what I mean?

Halloween was spent giving out candy with the girls helping by holding the bowl at the bottom but not touching the candy. They got to dress up and thought it was so cool that the other kids knew to come to our house. They loved every time the doorbell rang. I think they had more fun this Halloween than they did in years past where they went trickortreating to all the houses.

Final Score: Meekers 4.....Swine Flu 0

post-script: My niece Gracie who is three months old got the H1N1 and is now fine after over a week of being really sick. My sister in law Heather, nephew Devon and brother in law Rick all have H1N1. As of today, Heather is feeling better and Devon is starting to feel better. Lots more people we know have H1N1, it seems like it's everywhere already. I think this flu season is going to be very bad for some families. We are still all going to get vaccinated against H1N1, I'm just saying. Not to be all politically n stuff...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Had To Get Away (Vacation Part 2)

I love my cousins. When I was a kid and my cousins from the Pacific Northwest would come into town, my excitement would skyrocket to spaztic proportions. My kids are no different. As an only child, there are no first cousins on my side of the family for K & J. We have wonderful cousins on my side, but we don't see them often enough. Mike however, has five younger brothers. And because it took us three million years after we got married to get around to making actual babies, the girls have cousins that are older than them as well as a host of younger rug rats as well. And just like their mama AND daddy, they worship their cousins. Especially Cayden who is one year to the day older and a boy and knows how to climb up on stuff super high and jump and will happily always agree to be the "monster" and allow them to permanently play the role of princess/puppy/kitty/cheerleader/dancer etc. (I would like to point out that I encourage my daughters to also pretend playing CEO, star athlete, corporate tycoon etc. Katie told me when being CEO means she can wear glitter and sparkles and pink lip gloss she'll think about it. I told her that a CEO could wear glitter and sparkles just not during work hours. So far, it's not catching on and we remain a heavily populated princess household) ANYWAY, cousins are the coolioest. And so is elk hunting with brothers apparently blah blah blah. So our travel savvy foursome found ourselves driving East to the lovely (?) state of Utah where Mike's brother Chuck, my rad SIL Amber and the aforementioned Cayden (aka the super hero), his 3 year old sister Emma and my new little bitty beautiful niece Gracie lives.

Mike ditched us and went up the mountain to go elk hunting with his brothers and Dad. They watched conference, the Steelers game, blah, blah, cold, snow storm, blah, full moon, blah, too cold and bright to produce good hunting, blah and blah and then he came back to Chuck and Amber's. Meanwhile, Amber and the kids, my other SIL Faith (married to Ken living in North Carolina) and her daughters Sariah and Chloe, my MIL Marilyn and my entourage spent four happy days hanging out and doing things geared to the awesomeness that IS cousin time. Basically, they ran around Amber's house destroying it and screaming in delight. We attempted to tire them out at the bouncy place but their energy knew no bounds. We went to the Mayan and watched the cliff divers, the girls went to preschool and ballet class with Emma one day, we cooked and hung out and lunched at delicious Bajio and Blue Lemon. I cooked my Julia Child chicken. We laughed and went to Rodizio and got caramels from Trolley Square and just hung out. Amber let me drive the whole time because you know...my freakishness? I was thankful and relieved. Mike came back from hunting early because it was so cold so we got to spend time with the boys as well. Funtastically fun. We had the best road trip and we rocked out to my new stereo in which you can plug an IPOD. 2,000 + songs of rocking out and singing at the very toppest of our lungs.

Great times with my great little family. We have fun together for which I am the most thankful of all.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

All I Ever Wanted...(Vacation Part 1)

Well ya'all, it's been a while since I posted. We have been a busy little foursome, coming and going to various parts of the country. South Carolina was first on our list in late September. We boarded a plane in San Francisco, a red eye all night flight if you were wondering, and jetted our way to the East Coast landing in Jacksonville. Our vacation was in Charleston, SC. Oh...Jacksonville isn't near there you say? Don't worry, we rented a van and drove and drove and drove after flying ALL NIGHT with two 4 year olds until at last we arrived at our beautiful vacation beach house on Isle of Palms in South Carolina. I did not make these crazy travel arrangements. My darling husband, El Cheapo, planned out our itinerary. Apparently he saved a lot of money by turning us into Zombies. I called our travel plans "The Meeker Family Vacation - Vampire Edition" because all of our travel was at night. I'm funny that way.



Anyhoo, we joined wonderful, amazing, kind, funny and generous friends from Mike's residency. There were five families in all. Matt, the fun single friend who is stationed in SC and was our coordinator and hostess with the mostest, Amelia and her baby boy Nathan (too cute) who was without her husband Dustin due to him being deployed in the desert (suck), Teresa and Aaron and their two darling little girls and Brent and Ingrid with their two little girls. It was a little girl festival plus one baby boy. We had this awesome and huge beach house with a pool, spa, plenty of room, a huge kitchen and entertaining area just a block from the coolest family beach with warm water, loads of seashells, perfect sand for castle making and little waves that were just the right size to gently knock over 4 year olds and produce squeals of laughter.



We got babysitters two nights of our trip and got to go out as adults which was so so so fun. We took a two hour walking tour of Charleston which was so amazing and then dined on fabulous seafood. Then, another night we went out for French food (yum) and enjoyed dessert on the roof of a historic hotel overlooking the harbor and lights of the city. Mike and I made fajitas one night and we hung out and visited. All of the boys played golf one day and the girls went to the spa the next day for massages and pedicures. We got to spend lots of time playing with the girls and they just had a blast swimming, going to the beach, doing art and playing with the other kids. Brent cooked an amazing breakfast, Matt's sister (the artist) did a painting class and art show with the kids and we loved the humid weather and heat.



It was a perfect vacation balanced with grown up time, family time, girl time, guy time and reconnecting with friends that we love and shared the hardest three years of our lives with. After too short of a visit, we drove and drove and drove again to Jacksonville, boarded a plane and flew to San Francisco where we stayed in a hotel until the morning and drove home.



The girls were amazing travelers. They slept on the plane rides and were happy the whole time and loved making new friends and getting time with the 4 of us. They decided they LOVE vacation time.



Stay tuned for vacation part 2 where we go to Utah!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Off we go...

We are going on a vacation. A real life, honest to goodness, family summer vacation. We have rented a house along the Atlantic coast with several wonderful friends we knew during Mike's residency. We will visit the beach, enjoy the pool, cook yummy dinners for each other and laugh a lot. We all have kids, sans Mattie the single guy and Amelia's husband Dustin is deployed to the desert but thankfully she and little Nathan are still coming to partake in our fun. The girls are so excited to live at the beach and go on an airplane and "help" me pack their suitcases. Right now, their suitcases have zebra purses, leapsters, a plastic guitar and yellow nemo foam kick boards for the pool in them. I asked them if they thought we should pack some panties, clothes and pajamas and they said I could throw in one pair of Hello Kitty panties and their princess pajamas and that would be all thank you. Ummmm....I don't think so little darlings. Mom still has full executive authority over packing. Speaking of packing...I better get crackin!

Pictures from vacation and funny stories coming soon.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Why?

It seems like it's all my kids ask me. Why why why why why WHY? I answer the endless sea of questions from "why does a red ICEE make my teeth red?" to "will I die someday?" Sometimes the very trivial question of "why does Barbie have yellow hair" precedes or follows the very type of question that stops me in my tracks like "can I have a lemonade stand next summer and give all the money I make at it to kids that are sick and in the hospital or to kids that don't have mommies or daddies and why don't they have them and why do kids get sick anyways????" I make up the answers as I go. I find myself saying "just because" or "because God made it that way" a lot. The point that I am doing a very poor job at making is that I am sick of questions. I sometimes sit with Mike late at night and beg him to please not ask me anything or make me decide anything for 20 minutes. Questions are the bane of my existence.

So when I got several messages in my inbox these past few weeks from strangers who have somehow stumbled upon this silly little corner of the Internet, I thought how NEAT! A lot of these questions ask the same thing..."why did you start a blog?" or "what inspired you to start a blog". Well. Um. Let's see.

My sister in law Amber told me what a blog was. I didn't even know. So she said, go to blogspot and sign on and we can post pictures of the kids so you don't have to mail them to me. Good idea, I thought. And then I wrote a post. And I hit the button "publish post". And later that night I showed Mike. And he liked what I wrote. And then a few days later I wrote a little essay about something that happened in our lives. I forget what. And when I hit the button "publish post" I felt this little thrill of exhilaration. I thought, wow, I just wrote something and ANYONE could read it if they wanted. It was a rush even though I knew Amber was the only one that knew I had a blog. So then I added my blog address to my email signature. And I started to write about personal stuff that was embarrassing. Ha!!! I felt free and liberated. Here I was being honest about my thoughts or bad habits and anyone in the world could be reading this and I wouldn't know it. It was so freeing to my soul. I found that I still loved writing. When I was younger I wrote all the time. I took writing classes and was Editor of my HS newspaper. I had a regular column where I could write on any topic I wanted. An early version of this blog? Maybe. And I discovered I still LOVED the idea of strangers reading what I wrote. I love to write. Sometimes I think a post is really well written. I don't go back and edit. Most of the time I don't even read the post before I publish it. I just write in a free-style format where I just put my ideas from my brain to my fingers to the screen. Sometimes I will go back and read what I wrote weeks later and think...OH MY GOSH, I can't believe I admitted that! Or I will blush with embarrassment and poor sentence structure, dangling participles, poor spelling and the switching of tense. But I don't let these things bug me. It's MY blog after all and if I want to dangle my participles all over the place I can. I love it and the fact that even one stranger would send me an email telling me that they liked this little bloggy thing makes me happier than the squirrel with the mouth full of nuts that I saw today in my parents tree. (How's that for poor sentence structure)

So anyway, that is why I write. It's why this blog isn't private. It would be stupid for me to say "this is my journal" or I write this for my kids. In part, I do. In part, I write it for Mike and for myself. I write it to embarrass my Mom who thinks I over share waaaay too much info. But it would be a lie to say that I don't hope that somewhere someone will read my words. I think words and stories are so powerful. I write because I have found that writing is part of who I need to be. I love it.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thanks Patrick Swayze

I just wanted to give a shout out to Patrick Swayze and say how glad I am that I grew up in the 80's and that he did what he did with his life. I know most girls my age will forever remember him as Johnny, the tough and scrappy dance instructor at Kellerman Summer Camp who took Baby out of the corner in Dirty Dancing. And let me tell you, I loved Dirty Dancing so much that I made every member in my family (Grandmothers and Dad included) go see it with me at seperate times just so I could see it over and over.

However, for me, and this is just me talking, Patrick Swayze will ALWAYS be Orry Maine, the lead character in the 80's miniseries North and South. Seriously people, I could watch this miniseries over and over. I have made Mike watch it many times and he secretly loves it every bit as much as I do. Orry Maine is one of the best characters ever written about or acted in film. Orry is from Charleston and from a wealthy, plantation owning family. He goes up North to West Point, where he meets his best friend for life, Charles Hazard from Pennsylvania. This is before the civil war and the Hazards and Maines become like family as Orry and Charles fight in the war with Mexico. However, the issues facing our country threaten to divide the families. Ultimately, the Civil War starts and Charles becomes a Colonel in the Union Army where as Orry becomes a General for the Confederacy. They eventually face each other on the field of battle and I won't tell you how it ends because hello? If you haven't seen this you NEED TO DO SO NOW. But Orry is everything a man should be and has served as the yard stick on which I judged all boys. It tremendously influenced my life and I will love it and Patrick Swayze as long as I live.

Friday, September 11, 2009

September the Eleventh

I just need to take a moment. Just a second to remind myself that I remember this day. I lived on Andrews AFB in Maryland outside of DC. Mike was driving on his way to a normal Tuesday of med school. My Mom woke me up to tell me to turn on the news. I watched as the towers came down 3 1/2 hours north of where I sat. I watched as the plane flew into the Pentagon. Wait a second. Mike used to work at the Pentagon! His old office is there. Our friends are still there! What side? What side did it fly into? Tell us what side!!!!!! There are only five sides, how hard can it be? The Pentagon was only 30 minutes from where I sat. Are more planes on the way? The hanger of Air Force One planes is only two minutes from where I sat. Could more planes be headed to Washington? MIKE! By now my neighbor Jody was at my house with her son and we were crying and glued to the television. I called Mike on his cell phone. "Where are you?" I said. "A plane hit the Pentagon Aim." He said woodenly. "I know, they aren't saying what side it hit on." I replied. "I turned my car around to head to The Pentagon when they said it. I just turned my car around." He said. "NO! Please don't go there!" I cried. "But what if people are hurt? What if I can help?" I thought super quickly..."Mike they are going to close down this base in no time flat. You aren't going to be able to get home. Come home right now and let's just be together. Please." I waited for his answer. "Okay, I'm on my way." sigh. Momentary relief. The phone rang minutes later to let me know our dear neighbor who had just had a baby lost her Mom who I had just met. Her Mom came to visit for the birth of my neighbor's baby and was on the plane that hit the Pentagon. CRAP, the world has gone crazy. Mike got home. We sat there all day with Jody and Tom and their baby. Sure enough the base didn't just close but we went to threat condition DELTA. This means an attack from a foreign or domestic enemy is imminent. How imminent? There was a tank a 1/2 mile from my front door. A tank. Later that night, I had to get out of the house because I was going crazy. I asked Mike to take a walk with me. We were in lock down on the base meaning we could not get on or off base. They had asked residents not to drive our cars and leave the roads open for official use. So we grabbed our ID cards and set out to walk over to the golf courses on Andrews. As we walked down the most beautiful serene golf cart path at sunset that you could ever imagine I heard a rustle in the bushes. I looked to my right. "Just keep walking Mam" was the reply that came out of the bushes. A soldier, in full forest camouflage with his face painted and night vision goggles attached motioned me on my way with his big machine gun. On the golf course. The President's Golf Course. What sort of world have we landed on? I just remember feeling confused and dazed and scared and grateful and out of my body for a long time. I don't know when I felt normal again. I don't know if I ever have.

It was 8 years ago. My husband is slated to go to Afghanistan again in May. We are still fighting the Taliban? Really? Still? Why? I still feel confused and scared and dazed but mostly I feel grateful. I've had two gloriously delicious babies who have turned into two funny and smart little girls. I still have my husband. Many do not. Although we have lost two Grandfathers, a Grandmother and a much beloved Aunt since then, our families are intact and whole. So yes, I am still grateful.

I just needed to take a second to remember. Thanks for indulging me Internet. I never remember that day. But it's important to try so I don't forget how precious this day that I've been given really is.

P.S My thoughts and prayers go out to my dear friends Jody and Tom who sat in our house that day and watched events unfold with us. We cried together and Jody and I held hands. Jody is alone with five kids in Germany right now. Tom is in Iraq.