Positive- as in we are positive Katie has H1N1 because her swab test was positive. Ugh!

Had To Get Away (Vacation Part 2)

I love my cousins. When I was a kid and my cousins from the Pacific Northwest would come into town, my excitement would skyrocket to spaztic proportions. My kids are no different. As an only child, there are no first cousins on my side of the family for K & J. We have wonderful cousins on my side, but we don't see them often enough. Mike however, has five younger brothers. And because it took us three million years after we got married to get around to making actual babies, the girls have cousins that are older than them as well as a host of younger rug rats as well. And just like their mama AND daddy, they worship their cousins. Especially Cayden who is one year to the day older and a boy and knows how to climb up on stuff super high and jump and will happily always agree to be the "monster" and allow them to permanently play the role of princess/puppy/kitty/cheerleader/dancer etc. (I would like to point out that I encourage my daughters to also pretend playing CEO, star athlete, corporate tycoon etc. Katie told me when being CEO means she can wear glitter and sparkles and pink lip gloss she'll think about it. I told her that a CEO could wear glitter and sparkles just not during work hours. So far, it's not catching on and we remain a heavily populated princess household) ANYWAY, cousins are the coolioest. And so is elk hunting with brothers apparently blah blah blah. So our travel savvy foursome found ourselves driving East to the lovely (?) state of Utah where Mike's brother Chuck, my rad SIL Amber and the aforementioned Cayden (aka the super hero), his 3 year old sister Emma and my new little bitty beautiful niece Gracie lives.

Mike ditched us and went up the mountain to go elk hunting with his brothers and Dad. They watched conference, the Steelers game, blah, blah, cold, snow storm, blah, full moon, blah, too cold and bright to produce good hunting, blah and blah and then he came back to Chuck and Amber's. Meanwhile, Amber and the kids, my other SIL Faith (married to Ken living in North Carolina) and her daughters Sariah and Chloe, my MIL Marilyn and my entourage spent four happy days hanging out and doing things geared to the awesomeness that IS cousin time. Basically, they ran around Amber's house destroying it and screaming in delight. We attempted to tire them out at the bouncy place but their energy knew no bounds. We went to the Mayan and watched the cliff divers, the girls went to preschool and ballet class with Emma one day, we cooked and hung out and lunched at delicious Bajio and Blue Lemon. I cooked my Julia Child chicken. We laughed and went to Rodizio and got caramels from Trolley Square and just hung out. Amber let me drive the whole time because you know...my freakishness? I was thankful and relieved. Mike came back from hunting early because it was so cold so we got to spend time with the boys as well. Funtastically fun. We had the best road trip and we rocked out to my new stereo in which you can plug an IPOD. 2,000 + songs of rocking out and singing at the very toppest of our lungs.

Great times with my great little family. We have fun together for which I am the most thankful of all.

All I Ever Wanted...(Vacation Part 1)

Well ya'all, it's been a while since I posted. We have been a busy little foursome, coming and going to various parts of the country. South Carolina was first on our list in late September. We boarded a plane in San Francisco, a red eye all night flight if you were wondering, and jetted our way to the East Coast landing in Jacksonville. Our vacation was in Charleston, SC. Oh...Jacksonville isn't near there you say? Don't worry, we rented a van and drove and drove and drove after flying ALL NIGHT with two 4 year olds until at last we arrived at our beautiful vacation beach house on Isle of Palms in South Carolina. I did not make these crazy travel arrangements. My darling husband, El Cheapo, planned out our itinerary. Apparently he saved a lot of money by turning us into Zombies. I called our travel plans "The Meeker Family Vacation - Vampire Edition" because all of our travel was at night. I'm funny that way.



Anyhoo, we joined wonderful, amazing, kind, funny and generous friends from Mike's residency. There were five families in all. Matt, the fun single friend who is stationed in SC and was our coordinator and hostess with the mostest, Amelia and her baby boy Nathan (too cute) who was without her husband Dustin due to him being deployed in the desert (suck), Teresa and Aaron and their two darling little girls and Brent and Ingrid with their two little girls. It was a little girl festival plus one baby boy. We had this awesome and huge beach house with a pool, spa, plenty of room, a huge kitchen and entertaining area just a block from the coolest family beach with warm water, loads of seashells, perfect sand for castle making and little waves that were just the right size to gently knock over 4 year olds and produce squeals of laughter.



We got babysitters two nights of our trip and got to go out as adults which was so so so fun. We took a two hour walking tour of Charleston which was so amazing and then dined on fabulous seafood. Then, another night we went out for French food (yum) and enjoyed dessert on the roof of a historic hotel overlooking the harbor and lights of the city. Mike and I made fajitas one night and we hung out and visited. All of the boys played golf one day and the girls went to the spa the next day for massages and pedicures. We got to spend lots of time playing with the girls and they just had a blast swimming, going to the beach, doing art and playing with the other kids. Brent cooked an amazing breakfast, Matt's sister (the artist) did a painting class and art show with the kids and we loved the humid weather and heat.



It was a perfect vacation balanced with grown up time, family time, girl time, guy time and reconnecting with friends that we love and shared the hardest three years of our lives with. After too short of a visit, we drove and drove and drove again to Jacksonville, boarded a plane and flew to San Francisco where we stayed in a hotel until the morning and drove home.



The girls were amazing travelers. They slept on the plane rides and were happy the whole time and loved making new friends and getting time with the 4 of us. They decided they LOVE vacation time.



Stay tuned for vacation part 2 where we go to Utah!

Off we go...

We are going on a vacation. A real life, honest to goodness, family summer vacation. We have rented a house along the Atlantic coast with several wonderful friends we knew during Mike's residency. We will visit the beach, enjoy the pool, cook yummy dinners for each other and laugh a lot. We all have kids, sans Mattie the single guy and Amelia's husband Dustin is deployed to the desert but thankfully she and little Nathan are still coming to partake in our fun. The girls are so excited to live at the beach and go on an airplane and "help" me pack their suitcases. Right now, their suitcases have zebra purses, leapsters, a plastic guitar and yellow nemo foam kick boards for the pool in them. I asked them if they thought we should pack some panties, clothes and pajamas and they said I could throw in one pair of Hello Kitty panties and their princess pajamas and that would be all thank you. Ummmm....I don't think so little darlings. Mom still has full executive authority over packing. Speaking of packing...I better get crackin!

Pictures from vacation and funny stories coming soon.

Why?

It seems like it's all my kids ask me. Why why why why why WHY? I answer the endless sea of questions from "why does a red ICEE make my teeth red?" to "will I die someday?" Sometimes the very trivial question of "why does Barbie have yellow hair" precedes or follows the very type of question that stops me in my tracks like "can I have a lemonade stand next summer and give all the money I make at it to kids that are sick and in the hospital or to kids that don't have mommies or daddies and why don't they have them and why do kids get sick anyways????" I make up the answers as I go. I find myself saying "just because" or "because God made it that way" a lot. The point that I am doing a very poor job at making is that I am sick of questions. I sometimes sit with Mike late at night and beg him to please not ask me anything or make me decide anything for 20 minutes. Questions are the bane of my existence.

So when I got several messages in my inbox these past few weeks from strangers who have somehow stumbled upon this silly little corner of the Internet, I thought how NEAT! A lot of these questions ask the same thing..."why did you start a blog?" or "what inspired you to start a blog". Well. Um. Let's see.

My sister in law Amber told me what a blog was. I didn't even know. So she said, go to blogspot and sign on and we can post pictures of the kids so you don't have to mail them to me. Good idea, I thought. And then I wrote a post. And I hit the button "publish post". And later that night I showed Mike. And he liked what I wrote. And then a few days later I wrote a little essay about something that happened in our lives. I forget what. And when I hit the button "publish post" I felt this little thrill of exhilaration. I thought, wow, I just wrote something and ANYONE could read it if they wanted. It was a rush even though I knew Amber was the only one that knew I had a blog. So then I added my blog address to my email signature. And I started to write about personal stuff that was embarrassing. Ha!!! I felt free and liberated. Here I was being honest about my thoughts or bad habits and anyone in the world could be reading this and I wouldn't know it. It was so freeing to my soul. I found that I still loved writing. When I was younger I wrote all the time. I took writing classes and was Editor of my HS newspaper. I had a regular column where I could write on any topic I wanted. An early version of this blog? Maybe. And I discovered I still LOVED the idea of strangers reading what I wrote. I love to write. Sometimes I think a post is really well written. I don't go back and edit. Most of the time I don't even read the post before I publish it. I just write in a free-style format where I just put my ideas from my brain to my fingers to the screen. Sometimes I will go back and read what I wrote weeks later and think...OH MY GOSH, I can't believe I admitted that! Or I will blush with embarrassment and poor sentence structure, dangling participles, poor spelling and the switching of tense. But I don't let these things bug me. It's MY blog after all and if I want to dangle my participles all over the place I can. I love it and the fact that even one stranger would send me an email telling me that they liked this little bloggy thing makes me happier than the squirrel with the mouth full of nuts that I saw today in my parents tree. (How's that for poor sentence structure)

So anyway, that is why I write. It's why this blog isn't private. It would be stupid for me to say "this is my journal" or I write this for my kids. In part, I do. In part, I write it for Mike and for myself. I write it to embarrass my Mom who thinks I over share waaaay too much info. But it would be a lie to say that I don't hope that somewhere someone will read my words. I think words and stories are so powerful. I write because I have found that writing is part of who I need to be. I love it.

Thanks Patrick Swayze

I just wanted to give a shout out to Patrick Swayze and say how glad I am that I grew up in the 80's and that he did what he did with his life. I know most girls my age will forever remember him as Johnny, the tough and scrappy dance instructor at Kellerman Summer Camp who took Baby out of the corner in Dirty Dancing. And let me tell you, I loved Dirty Dancing so much that I made every member in my family (Grandmothers and Dad included) go see it with me at seperate times just so I could see it over and over.

However, for me, and this is just me talking, Patrick Swayze will ALWAYS be Orry Maine, the lead character in the 80's miniseries North and South. Seriously people, I could watch this miniseries over and over. I have made Mike watch it many times and he secretly loves it every bit as much as I do. Orry Maine is one of the best characters ever written about or acted in film. Orry is from Charleston and from a wealthy, plantation owning family. He goes up North to West Point, where he meets his best friend for life, Charles Hazard from Pennsylvania. This is before the civil war and the Hazards and Maines become like family as Orry and Charles fight in the war with Mexico. However, the issues facing our country threaten to divide the families. Ultimately, the Civil War starts and Charles becomes a Colonel in the Union Army where as Orry becomes a General for the Confederacy. They eventually face each other on the field of battle and I won't tell you how it ends because hello? If you haven't seen this you NEED TO DO SO NOW. But Orry is everything a man should be and has served as the yard stick on which I judged all boys. It tremendously influenced my life and I will love it and Patrick Swayze as long as I live.

September the Eleventh

I just need to take a moment. Just a second to remind myself that I remember this day. I lived on Andrews AFB in Maryland outside of DC. Mike was driving on his way to a normal Tuesday of med school. My Mom woke me up to tell me to turn on the news. I watched as the towers came down 3 1/2 hours north of where I sat. I watched as the plane flew into the Pentagon. Wait a second. Mike used to work at the Pentagon! His old office is there. Our friends are still there! What side? What side did it fly into? Tell us what side!!!!!! There are only five sides, how hard can it be? The Pentagon was only 30 minutes from where I sat. Are more planes on the way? The hanger of Air Force One planes is only two minutes from where I sat. Could more planes be headed to Washington? MIKE! By now my neighbor Jody was at my house with her son and we were crying and glued to the television. I called Mike on his cell phone. "Where are you?" I said. "A plane hit the Pentagon Aim." He said woodenly. "I know, they aren't saying what side it hit on." I replied. "I turned my car around to head to The Pentagon when they said it. I just turned my car around." He said. "NO! Please don't go there!" I cried. "But what if people are hurt? What if I can help?" I thought super quickly..."Mike they are going to close down this base in no time flat. You aren't going to be able to get home. Come home right now and let's just be together. Please." I waited for his answer. "Okay, I'm on my way." sigh. Momentary relief. The phone rang minutes later to let me know our dear neighbor who had just had a baby lost her Mom who I had just met. Her Mom came to visit for the birth of my neighbor's baby and was on the plane that hit the Pentagon. CRAP, the world has gone crazy. Mike got home. We sat there all day with Jody and Tom and their baby. Sure enough the base didn't just close but we went to threat condition DELTA. This means an attack from a foreign or domestic enemy is imminent. How imminent? There was a tank a 1/2 mile from my front door. A tank. Later that night, I had to get out of the house because I was going crazy. I asked Mike to take a walk with me. We were in lock down on the base meaning we could not get on or off base. They had asked residents not to drive our cars and leave the roads open for official use. So we grabbed our ID cards and set out to walk over to the golf courses on Andrews. As we walked down the most beautiful serene golf cart path at sunset that you could ever imagine I heard a rustle in the bushes. I looked to my right. "Just keep walking Mam" was the reply that came out of the bushes. A soldier, in full forest camouflage with his face painted and night vision goggles attached motioned me on my way with his big machine gun. On the golf course. The President's Golf Course. What sort of world have we landed on? I just remember feeling confused and dazed and scared and grateful and out of my body for a long time. I don't know when I felt normal again. I don't know if I ever have.

It was 8 years ago. My husband is slated to go to Afghanistan again in May. We are still fighting the Taliban? Really? Still? Why? I still feel confused and scared and dazed but mostly I feel grateful. I've had two gloriously delicious babies who have turned into two funny and smart little girls. I still have my husband. Many do not. Although we have lost two Grandfathers, a Grandmother and a much beloved Aunt since then, our families are intact and whole. So yes, I am still grateful.

I just needed to take a second to remember. Thanks for indulging me Internet. I never remember that day. But it's important to try so I don't forget how precious this day that I've been given really is.

P.S My thoughts and prayers go out to my dear friends Jody and Tom who sat in our house that day and watched events unfold with us. We cried together and Jody and I held hands. Jody is alone with five kids in Germany right now. Tom is in Iraq.

The END of an era...

I cried when I drove away from preschool yesterday. The girls have been in school now since August 8th. There are six kids who are all together in the same class again this year. We loved our teacher and these five other Moms and I all agreed to keep our kids together since they got along so great and were all nice, non "poopy face" "stinky butt" saying kids. So yesterday the girls and I arrived our usual 10 minutes early. We meet the other Moms early so the kids can run around and play for 10 minutes before class starts and we can visit and chat. Katie's best friend since last year has been Kyler. A blond angel of a little boy with golden hair, blue eyes to die for and who is honestly the cutest child I have ever seen. Katie and Kyler run to each other when they see each other and hug like it's been a year since they last saw each other. Kyler had a little sister born in June and he told everyone he was naming her Katie. Jessica's best buddy was Alex last year but she decided that Alex has to sit in the Time Out chair too much because he doesn't follow the rules so now her best buddy is Ryan. Well.

Kyler was under the tree with Ryan and Joshua. Katie was talking to Hayley about her new shoes that had hearts on them that she just LOVED and "Mom can we please stop at the store and buy me some shoes like Hayley on the way home PLEASE?" All of a sudden Kyler yells "ROCCO (another kid) ROCCO! WE ARE OVER HERE!" Katie's head pops up and she cheerfully exclaims "KYLER, I DIDN'T SEE YOU!" and proceeds to run over to him and hug him. He stiff arms her and knocks her down on the ground! Then he says "We were calling for Rocco NOT A GIRL!" I felt like my heart was going to break in my chest. Katie, however, laughed, got up and called "HAYLEY, JESSICA, MEGAN...COME DO RING AROUND THE ROSIE WITH ME!" All of a sudden, a gaggle of little girls appears and makes a circle holding hands with Katie and sing ring around the rosie. Kyler started to leave his buddies and wanted to join in with the girls and just as Jessica went by him she said "AND YOU CAN'T PLAY! NO BOYS ALLOWED!"

So I was happy Katie wasn't upset and that she had girlfriends that supported her and played with her and she is obviously way more socially bullet proof than I am, I mean was. I was secretly THRILLED that Jessica stood up for her sister and told Kyler he couldn't play. But I am officially not happy that Jessica excluded anyone from joining their group. But mostly, I am SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOO sad that we have reached this next phase of growing up. More of the magic dust of childhood and being babies has been knocked away. Katie all of a sudden cares about shoes with hot pink hearts on them and they have entered the boys vs. girls stage of life. Just yesterday they were pulling themselves up on the couch to try and walk. I swear it was JUST YESTERDAY. I called Mike from the parking lot and sobbed into the phone "Mike, I think Katie and Kyler are officially over." And he was all "say what?" And I was all, "He just pushed her down and I think they are broken up." And he was all "okay Aim, I gotta go." He told me later that he is going to LOVE this phase of life where boys have cooties and Katie and Jessica hate boys. He's more worried about the next phase when boys take on a whole different dimension. I just miss my babies and I wish time could slow down.

Upon The Occasion of My 38th Year of Life

So yeah...my grieving time is over. I turned 38 on Monday and let me tell you, it's not super fun to turn 38. Whatever blech. Sigh. We took the Grammies and the Papa and the chicks out for a crab feast Monday night at Joe's Crab Shack. It's Katie and Jessica's favorite place for two reasons. The crab and the dancing. Anytime they aren't shoving butter covered crab in their faces and dripping butter down their paper "Let's Get Crackin' " bibs they are dancing their little selves crazy. They do all the dances with the staff of Joes. Katie's favorite is Car Wash. We all had the bucket o' crab and shared a treat with a candle. I wished for good health. It's all I wanted. I have not received it yet but here's to hoping.

Mike got me a new stereo for my dented and crappy minivan. I should not say my van is crappy. It is nice and it runs great and has barely any miles on it. But it is dented because I am bad at parking and it is still a VAN. Which automatically makes it crap. But now I have pimped out tunes so yay for the van. My parents got me all sorts of goodies from Williams Sonoma, one being the two volume set of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, by Julia Child. Yes this was the inspiration for Julie & Julia and yes I loved the movie except for the Julie parts and yes, I am now obsessed with Julia Child and am making my first attempt at one of her recipes tomorrow night. I have been reading volume one and it is an amazing book. It has like seven pages on artichokes alone, which by the by are my favorite vegetable in the universe. Tomorrow night I am making sauteed chicken in cream and onions over steamed lemon scented rice and browned mushrooms in butter and wine. YUM. I'll be posting on my recipe blog how things are going as I learn some mad French skills in the kitchen. Thanks to Mom and Dad for setting me on my way. If the scale moves an inch upward I will blame you guys.

I guess in general, I am glad to be 38. I am happy where I'm at. But I feel frustrated that I do not have the energy and that I've been feeling so sick. I don't feel I can make plans with people because I never know how I will feel. I feel like I cancel plans and that I let down the people I love. I hate it. But I am working with a good GI specialist and hopefully, we will figure this whole thing out and hopefully it's easy to correct. I try really hard not to focus on this aspect of my life on the blog because it just makes me want to slap me when I read about it and I assume others feel the same way. Thanks for the good wishes and email and love you have sent to me. I have the best friends and family and lurker readers that a girl could ever hope for. You guys rock.

I was not meant to be a Pioneer Woman

No offense to my secret best friend Pioneer Woman, but I discovered that I have in no way any desire to be a pioneer woman. My A/C at my house died yesterday. The earliest they'll have the parts and be able to fix it is MONDAY. Maybe up to 2 weeks. So I have all the lights off and all windows open and am naked in order to beat the heat. I don't think Pioneer Woman would give me a gold star as to how I am handling this recent crisis. All I want from my air conditioner is to press a button and get cool air wafting through it's vents. Pray for me. As Jack Nicholson said in a Few Good Men "I'm a fair woman but this --- heat is making me absolutely crazy." And we all know how that story ended. I think I'm going to go order Major Meeker to instruct Airman Jessica to give Airman Katie a Code Red. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Repetitive Chaos

My sister in law Amber posted this most beautiful poem on her blog the other day called Sweet Monotony all about the dance you do as a new Mom and how sacred and special that time is. I thought about how much my life has changed since those new days of Motherhood. So I wrote my own version, called Repetitive Chaos to celebrate what my life feels like now. Here is the great poem first, followed by my silly version.

Sweet Monotony
Feeding
Feeding Burping
Feeding Burping Changing
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing Fussing
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing Fussing Rocking
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing Fussing Rocking
Feeding Burping Changing Cooing Fussing Cooing
Burping Changing Cooing Fussing Rocking Sleeping
Changing Cooing Fussing Rocking Sleeping Waking
Cooing Fussing Rocking Sleeping Waking
Fussing Rocking Sleeping Waking
Rocking Sleeping Waking
Sleeping Waking
Waking

Though the order may change,
The motions are the same.Regardless of time,
Regardless of day,
My life
And the life of my baby's
Is made up of the same movements over
and over and over again.
It is exhausting
For both of us.
I sometimes long for a change. . . does she?
But then I remember that Music is made using the same seven notes in variation.
And only twenty-six letters combine to create poems, and plays, and masterpieces.
I realize that monotony can create miracles.
So I will go through the motions with my baby
And we will dance
Through the pages of our own story.

And now for the Amy Meeker version...

Repetitive Chaos
Waking Threatening
Waking Threatening
Late - going to be very late.
Looking and looking. Shoe found.
Looking and looking. Backpack located.
Looking and looking. Teddy Bear wedged in the couch cushions.
Crying. Shouting. Bribery. Treachery.
Promises. Pleading. Speeding.
Cell phone dialing. Excusing lateness.
Lecturing. Lecturing.
Throwing snacks backward. Hoping to hit my target.
Spilling. Wrappers crinkling.
Screeching to a stop.
Unloading. Unloading. Unloading the world.
Drop off. Sigh of relief. Tears of joy.
Running running. Errands too many. Running. Sweating.
Speeding. Cell phone dialing. Back to pick up.
Praying. Praying. Prayers for nap time. Please God nap time.
Thawing, defrosting. Nuking and reheating.
Loud talking. Dinner consumed. Laughing. Spilling.
Wiping. Cleaning. Wiping and cleaning.
Bathing and playing. Splashing and sudsing.
Tangle spray and brushing. Crying and begging.
Lotion rubbing and pajama picking.
Scripture reading, story telling. Prayers praying.
Water. Last minute pee pee. More water.
"I heard a noise." "She's keeping me awake"
Threatening. Not sleeping. Bargaining and warning.
Finishing everything I didn't do during the day.

Though the order may change and the events vary, the motions of the Mom and Preschooler are the same. My life and the lives of my 4 year olds are made up of repetitive chaos that makes me curl into a ball and suck my thumb in the corner. But then I remember that I have less than two years to go until all day school and I vow to cherish these moments. That usually gets me through until 10:32 a.m. Then, it's all sheer luck, caffeine and prayer.

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens...

It's time for a few of my favorite things list. I did a summer edition a few months back so we'll call this My Favorite Things Summer edition 2.0.

• Rolle (French Bistro/market) This is one of the best little finds in all of Sacramento. It is on 54th and H street. It opened 10 years ago as a french market with just a couple of tables. Now there are about 10 tables and they serve the best country rustic french food around. I had the best creme brulee (blueberry) that I've ever had and Mike had a satisfying chocolate mousse. (it was no pot au creme from Blvd Bistro but it was okay) But the food is the real star. The owner smokes fresh salmon four different ways. I recommend the hot, cooked smoked salmon. He also roasts marinated prawns that are to die for. His hot sandwiches like Croque Monsieur (ham/cheese) or the hot salmon sandwich and the salads are the reasons to go. Order the chilled prawns appetizer and dig into the creme fraiche with dill with your crusty baguette. Lunch is under $10 per person. Go after 1 for no wait. Expect to wait for a table between 12 and 1. Order your food as takeout and go over to a park and enjoy a picnic!
• The Mentalist - I've been watching the reruns because I didn't watch it originally. It's good! I still can't figure out what that dude was in though.
• Perrier with Lime and ice.
• Fall - just the idea of cooler weather makes me happy.
• Lee Jeans - the tummy panel is awesome!
• Roses - pink ones in a glass vase.

The What When Why and How?

I've received a lot of email about why I was in the hospital and offered prayers and expressions of love. These mean a lot to me. So here's what happened in short little summary.

Over the past six to eight weeks I've been feeling sick to my stomach and having intestinal disturbances (a polite way of putting it) every day. My primary doctor and my GI specialist ran tests and couldn't find anything. But I was still getting sick everyday. My day would be cruising along just fine and then, whamo...I'd get sick. So on the 17th of August, I pulled a muscle in my side from throwing up so hard. I called my doctor in the morning and she and my specialist told me to go to the hospital to get admitted. So I went on Tuesday the 18th and they began what would turn out to be 9 days of tests and boredom. They determined that I have Inflammatory Intestinal Disease and they have put me on eight different medications, causing me to have to take 27 pills per day. Yes, I said 27. Most medications are for things like Crohn's disease, however, I don't have an confirmed Crohn's diagnosis. But now I'm working with my doctors to treat the symptoms of this condition and hoping to get used to the medications and that they help me return to a normal life. This has been a super hard year for me and I am hoping it gets a lot better from here on in.

So that's the story, it's nothing dramatic or exciting. But I thank you for your thoughts and kind words, calls and email.

He was just SEVENTEEN, you know what I MEAN...

I should have posted this on Saturday. However, on Saturday, I was stuck on the 4th floor of the UCD Med Center in the middle of a zillion and one tests (more on that later). Saturday was the occasion of my seventeenth anniversary of marriage to Mikey. Normally, I would have posted my best Emily Dickinson style post, waxing romantically about all the reasons I love Mike Meeker. However, this year I'd like to express a more authentic sentiment to my beloved. I'd like to express the reasons I REALLY love him, rather than the frilly fluff I would normally be want to blather on about. I thought a bullet list would be appropriate, because 17 years of marriage and bullets...they just seem to go together don't they?

• Saturday is a perfect example of why I love Mike. I sat in the hospital and he brought my favorite pink roses to my bedside. He brought himself, in a funny mood, cracking old jokes and stories and cheering me up in a subtle way that he knew would work but not be over the top cheesy. He took care of the babes without complaint and made me feel cared for and loved and carried the weight of our responsibilities. He got no card, no present, no dinner out...just gave of himself and his time. This is life married to Mike.
• The only gift I could think to give to Mike is to let him off the hook in regards to coming back to the hospital that night with the girls to visit. They had napped late so it would have taken a lot of effort to dress them, load them, unload them, visit, keep them quiet, load them back in the car, get them home and to bed. Instead, I told him to just enjoy the evening, set the girls up with a movie and take the night off. Instead, he and the girls had a football pizza party. They stuck baseball hats on backward, ordered a pizza, ate it on the couch while watching football. When pizza was done, they got out their nerf football and played four downs each of tackle football in the living room using pillows to break their falls. Mike was so excited when he called that he had taught the girls a shuttle pass that they could do to work together to score a touchdown. He also taught them how to come at him from two different sides so they could take him down easier. Then they rested on the couch and watched the rest of the game. He said he had the best night and that while they were eating the end of the pizza that Katie exclaimed "this is the BEST NIGHT EVER!" Mike and his girls, it's a huge part of why I love him.
• He gets me water in the middle of the night. Always has, always will. It was a promise he made and he totally kept it.
• He manages our money. We would be in jail if it was left to me to manage. I am so thankful he does this because I suck with money.
• He takes out the garbage and never forgets. I realized what a big deal this is when he was in Afghanistan. I forgot all the time.
• He gets the mail. I also hate to do this. The mail carrier rang my doorbell when it got so full she couldn't stuff anymore mail in there when he was gone. He gets it everyday and is excited for me when my People Magazine comes.
• He has the best taste in movies. He loves Braveheart and Shawshank and Top Gun just like all guys do but he also loves Sense and Sensibility and Sleepless in Seattle and he's not afraid to quote lines from the chickiest of chick flicks.
• He likes Broadway musicals and he's not gay. He had never seen a musical live before we got married. At the end of Les Miserables when they sing "...will you join in our crusade?..." he always stands up and shouts "YES I WILL" at the top of his lungs. It's embarrassing but he loves it and I love that about him.
• We fight. We have gotten in big fights where he has fled to sleep in the bathroom tub with blankets because it was the only place he could find that I wouldn't be able to follow. Now however, we will be super mad and he'll say..."we are too old to have this fight. Can we just please go to bed and agree that we are both super mad and finish fighting tomorrow?" I love this about him because the fight is always over once we get a good night's sleep.
• He's not scared of me. Don't tell him this is something I like because officially I miss the days where he used to be scared of me, but secretly I'm glad the score is more even.
• He likes me for me. He knows my good, bad, ugly, fat, bloated, sick, well, glammed up, scummed out sides and he loves all of them.
• He calls me on my crap. He doesn't let me get...well...bitchy. He'll tell me I'm wrong if I hurt someones feelings. He doesn't always take my side.
• And the best thing. He loves the Lord. He wants to do what's right. That doesn't mean he always does what is right, but it eats at him when he doesn't. His core is good and he tries to be a good father, a good husband and serve his patients and co-workers and family and friends. This spreads him too thin to do it all perfectly and I love that he cares and vows to try and do better. He always has something he wants to do better when I am more inclined to just give up and say "good enough". Mike isn't happy with good enough.

So these reasons may not inspire any sonnets and are very un-Shakespeare-esque. But they are my reasons and they are true and real. Our life isn't perfect but I can honestly say I would not change who I chose to spend it with and I think after 17 years that's pretty darn good.

My staring role as "patient in hospital" has been extended! This engagement will run through next Tuesday! ugh.