I was not meant to be a Pioneer Woman

No offense to my secret best friend Pioneer Woman, but I discovered that I have in no way any desire to be a pioneer woman. My A/C at my house died yesterday. The earliest they'll have the parts and be able to fix it is MONDAY. Maybe up to 2 weeks. So I have all the lights off and all windows open and am naked in order to beat the heat. I don't think Pioneer Woman would give me a gold star as to how I am handling this recent crisis. All I want from my air conditioner is to press a button and get cool air wafting through it's vents. Pray for me. As Jack Nicholson said in a Few Good Men "I'm a fair woman but this --- heat is making me absolutely crazy." And we all know how that story ended. I think I'm going to go order Major Meeker to instruct Airman Jessica to give Airman Katie a Code Red. I'll let you know how it turns out.