Say What?

I don't want to forget some of the funny things my kids are saying right now. Sometimes we'll be having a conversation and I feel like looking around for hidden cameras because I can't believe the stuff that comes out of their mouth. (Sentimental, braggy mommy rubbish ahead...proceed with caution)

• Jessica starts everything she has to tell me with the following sentence. "Mom, I have some good news and some bad news." Then she tells me how many of each she has. "Mom, I have one bad news and two good news-es" Today, this was the good & bad news. "Mom, the bad news is that if we put the picture I drew for Katie to thank her for being a good nurse to me while I am sick on the dresser, we can't put our fan on number two or it will blow off. The good newses are that we can put the picture on our dresser with either no fan on at all or on speed one."


• The girls have an alarm clock on their dresser that goes off at 7:05 a.m. They begged for this alarm clock so they can know when to get up and get ready for school. Katie tells me all the time "Mom, you would think that the sound the alarm makes in the morning would be a happy sound but it's not. It just reminds me that I am very very very sooooo tired!"


• Both girls are always talking about their enjury level. Me: "Girls, I need you to pick up your play room." Them "Mom, we are so tired we just don't have enough enjury in our legs to do it." Or, another example Them: "Mom, I ate all my dinner. I'm sure gonna have lots of enjury now."


• Lasternight. Even Mike and I say lasternight now. It's a combination of yesterday and last night. Everynight when we tuck them into bed, they say something like "Mom, we went to sleep good lasternight didn't we?" or "you read a whole book lasternight, can we have two books tonight?"


• They play this computer game called World of Zoo. If you have 4 or 5 year olds, go get it. They will love it. You get to be a zoo keeper and take care of all the animals. There are zebras, monkeys, kuaula bears, giraffes, big cats and pandas. The girls get to name the animals, pick what they'll look like along with the color of the animal. (pink and white giraffes!) Then they get to take care of the animals. They earn love points from their animals if they do a good job. They feed, bathe, play with, train, exercise, groom and heal their animals. The animals come up to the screen and kiss them and give them love points when they do a good job. They sit in front of the computer and talk to these animals like they are totally real. Jessica: "Hi sweetie -pie my favorite zebra how are you this morning. Okay girl, it's okay, it's just me. Here I brought you an apple. I knew you'd like that. yes, yes, I love you too. Okay girl, where's little lady? Oh, there she is!! Hi little lady..." and it goes on and on. It seems sort of sad and pathetic because they don't have a real pet and they want one so badly. And I'm feeling myself starting to break down and think about dogs again. But once we got past the guilt that they are taking care of imaginary computerized pets, we noticed that they are having an absolute ball. They love it so much and it's so cute.


• It was so sad/cute, on Halloween they gave out candy because they had already gotten so much candy. We explained that since Halloween was on Sunday this year, that it would be a good idea for us to think of something we could do for our neighbors instead of just focusing on getting as much candy as possible. They were totally on board for it. They made 44 ghosts out of tootsie roll pops and white kleenex and black yarn. Then, Katie cut up her extra nice drawing paper into four squares per sheet and drew a Halloween picture for the trick or treaters. She had over 25 pictures ready by 6pm Halloween night. I gave them the big basket that normally holds our fruit and onions on our counter top. They filled it with all their treats. I let them put on their kitty ears and I drew whiskers on their faces. We talked as a family about how normally on Halloween, people pass by our house but nobody is home to give them candy because we are out trick-or-treating. This year, we were deciding together as a family that we'll make the sacrifice of getting candy in order to be here to serve the kids in our neighborhood by giving them candy, along with a craft that we worked very hard to make. They were totally pumped. (Brainwash your kids much? yeah, me too) In between trick or treaters they sat on the love seat looking out the window onto the porch. They would yell, "someone is HEEEERE!!!" as they flew off the couch to answer the door before the people could ring the bell. I can't even begin to think about what sort of thoughts my neighbors had when they went through their Halloween candy and found a picture drawn by a 5 year old and a crumpled piece of Kleenex tied (barely) around a tootsie roll pop. We are THAT family. The whackadoos down the street that put a used Kleenex in your trick or treat bag. BUT in my defense. The girls said they had a better time doing that than trick or treating and asked if they could do that next year too.
• Mike and the girls have a new tradition at the park. They slide down the slide and he pours a pixie stick in their mouth. The rules are they can't slow down to catch it and he had to stand in the same place each time. He said they love it because pixie stick dust was going everywhere...in their hair, eyes, mouth, ear etc. He said it was the most fun they've had in a long time.
• Jessica told me that she learned at school that there are things you should say to people and things you shouldn't say. Jessica" like you SHOULD say you are nice, be my friend, I will help you, I like your shirt, you are nice and good job. What you SHOULDN'T say is you are fat, you are ugly or go to HELL." And there's where the title of my post today came from. Because in that moment I turned to her and said "say WHAT?"